An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces A study reports that in nearby East Meria where fish consumption is very high people visit the doctor only once or twice per

Essay topics:

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds represent the most frequently given reason for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid—a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil—as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

In this report,the writer argues that fish is useful to prevent cold and recommends lchthaid which derived from fish oil can prevent colds and lower absenteeism.To further support his/her recommendation,the writer describes a study in nearby East Meria,where fish consumption is very high,people visit doctor less for treatment of colds.Besides,he provide the evidence that colds are the most frequently reason for absences.While the lchthaid may indeed useful to prevent cold and lower absenteeism,close scrutiny reveals that the conclusion lacks critical support,as a result,we need more evidence to help evaluate the argument.

To start with,more evidence about fish consumption and the attitude of people in East Meria about visiting doctor is needed.That is because the writer believe that high fish consumption means local people eat a large number of meat,and the less number of times people visit doctor for colds means people get less cold.Therefore,the writer made a conclusion that there is a casual relationship between the former and latter.However,it could be wrong.It is likely that there is a lchthaid factory consume a large amount of fish.Besides,may due to high hospital fee or think cold is a small problem ,people in East Meria would not prefer to visit doctor.If new evidence suggest this,the writer’s argument will be considerably weaken.

In addition,more evidence are needed to help us evaluate whether it could lower absenteeism of students and workers. If new evidence shows that students and workers use colds as an excuse for absence,then the writer’s argument will be weaken.On the contrary,new discovery revealing that colds is indeed the main reason of absenteeism would help support the argument.

Even if it is demonstrated that fish is useful to prevent cold and cold is the main reason of absenteeism,we need more information whether the lchthaid are useful as fish and can truly prevent colds.If new discover shows that composition which can prevent colds is derived from fish oil rather than other part of fish,then the writer’s suggestion should be encouraged.In addition,if it could be demonstrated that after artificially process,the ability of prevent cold is still efficient,then the writer’s argument could be more convincing.On the other hand,we must reject writer’s recommendation.

To sum up,the evidence cited by writer does not provide enough conclusive information to make his/her suggestion convincing.As a result,we need more evidence to better evaluate the argument.

Votes
Average: 6 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 15, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
In this report,the writer argues that fish is useful to pr...
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Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...can prevent colds and lower absenteeism.To further support his/her recommendation,...
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Line 1, column 203, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...o further support his/her recommendation,the writer describes a study in nearby East...
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Suggestion: , where
...r describes a study in nearby East Meria,where fish consumption is very high,people vi...
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Line 1, column 289, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...eria,where fish consumption is very high,people visit doctor less for treatment of cold...
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Line 1, column 338, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: Besides
...isit doctor less for treatment of colds.Besides,he provide the evidence that colds are ...
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Line 1, column 345, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , he
...ctor less for treatment of colds.Besides,he provide the evidence that colds are the...
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Line 1, column 349, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'provides'.
Suggestion: provides
... less for treatment of colds.Besides,he provide the evidence that colds are the most fr...
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Line 1, column 425, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: While
...the most frequently reason for absences.While the lchthaid may indeed useful to preve...
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Line 1, column 499, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , close
...ul to prevent cold and lower absenteeism,close scrutiny reveals that the conclusion la...
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Line 1, column 500, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: scrutiny
...l to prevent cold and lower absenteeism,close scrutiny reveals that the conclusion lacks criti...
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Line 1, column 565, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , as
...at the conclusion lacks critical support,as a result,we need more evidence to help ...
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Line 1, column 577, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , we
...usion lacks critical support,as a result,we need more evidence to help evaluate the...
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Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...vidence to help evaluate the argument. To start with,more evidence about fish c...
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Line 3, column 14, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , more
...valuate the argument. To start with,more evidence about fish consumption and the...
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Line 3, column 125, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: That
...t Meria about visiting doctor is needed.That is because the writer believe that high...
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Line 3, column 210, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...fish consumption means local people eat a large number of meat,and the less number of times peopl...
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Line 3, column 232, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , and
... local people eat a large number of meat,and the less number of times people visit d...
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Line 3, column 319, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Therefore
...or for colds means people get less cold.Therefore,the writer made a conclusion that there...
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Line 3, column 328, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...lds means people get less cold.Therefore,the writer made a conclusion that there is ...
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Line 3, column 424, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...ationship between the former and latter.However,it could be wrong.It is likely that the...
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Line 3, column 431, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , it
...ip between the former and latter.However,it could be wrong.It is likely that there ...
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Line 3, column 450, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: It
...er and latter.However,it could be wrong.It is likely that there is a lchthaid fact...
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Line 3, column 527, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Besides
... factory consume a large amount of fish.Besides,may due to high hospital fee or think c...
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Line 3, column 534, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , may
...y consume a large amount of fish.Besides,may due to high hospital fee or think cold ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 596, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...tal fee or think cold is a small problem ,people in East Meria would not prefer to...
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Line 3, column 652, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
... Meria would not prefer to visit doctor.If new evidence suggest this,the writer’s ...
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Line 3, column 680, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...isit doctor.If new evidence suggest this,the writer’s argument will be considerably ...
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Line 5, column 12, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , more
...l be considerably weaken. In addition,more evidence are needed to help us evaluate...
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Line 5, column 200, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , then
...rkers use colds as an excuse for absence,then the writer’s argument will be weaken.On...
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Line 5, column 243, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: On
...en the writer’s argument will be weaken.On the contrary,new discovery revealing th...
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Line 5, column 258, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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... argument will be weaken.On the contrary,new discovery revealing that colds is indee...
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...d cold is the main reason of absenteeism,we need more information whether the lchth...
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Suggestion: If
...ful as fish and can truly prevent colds.If new discover shows that composition whi...
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Line 7, column 318, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , then
... fish oil rather than other part of fish,then the writer’s suggestion should be encou...
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Line 7, column 369, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...riter’s suggestion should be encouraged.In addition,if it could be demonstrated th...
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Line 7, column 380, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , if
...gestion should be encouraged.In addition,if it could be demonstrated that after art...
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Line 7, column 440, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...nstrated that after artificially process,the ability of prevent cold is still effici...
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Line 7, column 487, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , then
...ility of prevent cold is still efficient,then the writer’s argument could be more con...
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Line 7, column 540, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: On
...ter’s argument could be more convincing.On the other hand,we must reject writer’s ...
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Line 7, column 557, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: , we
...uld be more convincing.On the other hand,we must reject writer’s recommendation. ...
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Line 9, column 10, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ct writer’s recommendation. To sum up,the evidence cited by writer does not provi...
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Line 9, column 125, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: As
...n to make his/her suggestion convincing.As a result,we need more evidence to bette...
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Line 9, column 136, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , we
...is/her suggestion convincing.As a result,we need more evidence to better evaluate t...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, however, if, may, so, still, then, therefore, while, in addition, as a result, on the contrary, to start with, to sum up, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 29.0 28.8173652695 101% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2158.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 384.0 441.139720559 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.61979166667 5.12650576532 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4267276788 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.2888923897 2.78398813304 118% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.46875 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 649.8 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 6.0 19.7664670659 30% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 64.0 22.8473053892 280% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 240.840888001 57.8364921388 416% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 359.666666667 119.503703932 301% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 64.0 23.324526521 274% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 24.6666666667 5.70786347227 432% => Less transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 44.0 5.25449101796 837% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.13898911617 0.218282227539 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0683674698191 0.0743258471296 92% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.067409082997 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0782003267 0.128457276422 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0700044818024 0.0628817314937 111% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 37.0 14.3799401198 257% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -1.94 48.3550499002 -4% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 14.6 7.1628742515 204% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 29.4 12.197005988 241% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 16.2 12.5979740519 129% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.39 8.32208582834 125% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 28.0 12.3882235529 226% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 27.6 11.1389221557 248% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 28.0 11.9071856287 235% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 16 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 425 350
No. of Characters: 2084 1500
No. of Different Words: 176 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.54 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.904 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.571 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 72 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 47.222 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 27.944 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.461 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.752 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.253 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5