An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author suggests that Tagus's government should tout a modified millet with higher concentration of vitamin A, since the citizens seem to need more of it, but the conclusion is reached through a series of unbased assumptions.
First of all, it is stated that the new kind of millet is rich in vitamin A, but it is possible that such a modification is nocive for the human body. If this comes to be true, then it would be far better to leave things as they are, in order to avoid other diseases, and try to find another way for increasing vitamin A in Tagus people. In order to convince the readers, the writer should make clear that this new product is completely benign.
A second problem is that it is stated that to make sure farmers will prefer this new type of millet, they will receive subsidies, but they may not be enough to convince them in changing their cultivations. In fact, changing the structure of a farm is very expensive and not all farmers may want to take the risk of entering in a new market, even if the governents helps them economically. So the question that needs to be answered is: is it unquestionable that the subsidies paid to farmers will be enough for being sure that they will start cultivating this new millet?
It is then assumed that since millet is already eaten largely in Tagus, then the new food will have a great success, too. But it is possible that the operations needed to increase the percentage of vitamin A change the product, making it less appetitable than before, thus lowering the chances of being liked as its predecessor.
If the author assumes that the consumption will not chance, then it has to make sure that the product will still taste the same.
The last assertion is the conclusion itself: the author says that in order to avoid this deficiency of vitamin A, the government should adopt this solution, but there may be other ways to circumvent the problem, and they should all be taken into account. To make sure that everyone agrees with him, the writer should analyze other possible solutions and explain why this would be the best one.
In the end, it is possible that the recommendation is right, but before judging it there are some details that need to be added: the product must be certified as innocous, it should be clarified that the farmers are willingful to help with the project, we need to know wether or not the product has changed in other aspects, like appearance, smell and taste, and finally all the other possible solutions must be discussed before deciding that this is the best alternative.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 457 350
No. of Characters: 2069 1500
No. of Different Words: 206 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.624 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.527 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.481 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 35.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.2 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.364 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.737 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.145 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 13, column 90, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...n is right, but before judging it there are some details that need to be added: the...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, may, second, so, still, then, thus, as to, in fact, kind of, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 35.0 19.6327345309 178% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 28.8173652695 180% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2130.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 457.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.66083150985 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62358717085 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54822624491 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 204.123752495 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.463894967177 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 655.2 705.55239521 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 9.0 1.67365269461 538% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 35.0 22.8473053892 153% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 89.8832905337 57.8364921388 155% => OK
Chars per sentence: 163.846153846 119.503703932 137% => OK
Words per sentence: 35.1538461538 23.324526521 151% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.53846153846 5.70786347227 132% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.272387033342 0.218282227539 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.110088222816 0.0743258471296 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0592504550359 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131073833673 0.128457276422 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0695613345658 0.0628817314937 111% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.1 14.3799401198 126% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.87 48.3550499002 109% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.34 12.5979740519 82% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.55 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 98.500998004 93% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 17.5 12.3882235529 141% => OK
gunning_fog: 16.0 11.1389221557 144% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.