An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
At first glance, the argument seems cogent, however, after carefully thinking, we can find the article lacks more reliable evidence to prove the idea which makes it less persuasive. More research and statistics should be included to verify the hypothesis.
First, the author mentioned vitamin A lack can be found in Tagus but doesn't specify the deficiency level. Engineered millet to enrich vitamin A might cause another problem since millet is staple food in Tagus, it means that millet dominant a certain portion of their daily food consumption, people might end up consuming too much vitamin A which cause other health issues. Vitamin A is one of the steroid vitamin groups, which is lipophilic which can only digest and absorb with oil. It is in vain if people only have millet without any grease.
Another flaw of the argument is that engineered millet breed seeds cost more so that farmers will be paid subsidies if they grow the new variety. It might be attractive to farmers that they can get compensation but farmers need to take consumers' choices into consideration too. More evaluation of acceptance on engineered food should be made before planting the new variety of millet. Although no evidence shows bio-engineered crops are harmful to human there are still publics who claim to reject gene-editing food, this market reaction might be one of the factors that affect farmers' choices.
Last, there are many vitamin A supplements that consumers can choose from. Regarding more expensive of millet seeds, it will cause more expensive of the product. The price of staple food should be friendly to the public to keep their basic living needs. There's no data shows that how much will people buy for millet and how to keep it affordable to all families.
To sum up, the article seems simply vitamin A deficiency problem by engineered millet but how to make people accept or buy the new variety needed comprehensive evaluation. The author needs to provide more specifics as well as concrete data to verify that engineered millet is acceptable and affordable for people in Tagus before making the conclusion that the new variety can solve the problem.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 361 350
No. of Characters: 1767 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.359 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.895 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.523 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 132 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 87 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 51 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.562 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.273 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.591 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.071 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 70, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...itamin A lack can be found in Tagus but doesnt specify the deficiency level. Engineere...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 17, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun vitamin seems to be countable; consider using: 'many vitamins'.
Suggestion: many vitamins
...t farmers choices. Last, there are many vitamin A supplements that consumers can choose...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 30, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'A supplement' or simply 'supplements'?
Suggestion: A supplement; Supplements
...ices. Last, there are many vitamin A supplements that consumers can choose from. Regardi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 255, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: There's
...ublic to keep their basic living needs. Theres no data shows that how much will people...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, regarding, so, still, well, as well as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 55.5748502994 76% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1818.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 360.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.05 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35587717469 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.57007349657 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.533333333333 0.468620217663 114% => OK
syllable_count: 563.4 705.55239521 80% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.2697123298 57.8364921388 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.625 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.625 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.370468789636 0.218282227539 170% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.121742620183 0.0743258471296 164% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.07488781193 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.192761987565 0.128457276422 150% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0801033314829 0.0628817314937 127% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.31 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.32 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.