An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of
Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more,
farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus,
people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything
it can to promote this new type of millet.
__________
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation
is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
As mentioned in the argument, people belonging to Tagus suffer from vitamin A deficiency. Inorder to tackle this issue, the international developement organization has given a solution to consume a new variety of millet that is rich in vitamin A.
The argument clearly tells how to adopt to the new change but the questions that arise from this argument is whether the new type of millet is synthetic or naturally made such that the people would consume. The origin of new variety of millet would bring questions in the mind of the people whether this would actually help to combat vitamin A deficiency. Depending on the manufacture of the millet, the people, more largely would try to include it in their lifestyle. Apart from that, the citizens would also be concerned about whether there are any side effects for these new variety of millet. Since a new variety of millet would always bring a sense of distrust.
The paragraph also states that the cost of the new millet is higher than the already existing one. So, this would arise a question that whether deficiency in vitamin A causes any side effects or illnesses in order to adapt to the new variety of millet. If the deficiency does not bring much changes among the people, it is rare that the people would start consuming an expensive variety of millet. This, in turn arises another question whether the farmers would really benefit from cultivation the new variey of millet when compared to other crops. If the subsidy or the profit received from growing the new variety of millet is less, then chances are, that the cultivation of the new variety would not be incorporated by anyone despite of getting subsidies from the governement.
If the governement really focuses on combating the problem of vitamin A deficiency then it should also mention the health benefits and the disadvantages that are being faced by the people of Tagus due to lack of vitamin A. This would make people aware of the consequences and would try to incorporate the new variety of the millet, despite of it being expensive, into their daily life. Since they are not aware, largely of these consequences, it would be hard for them to accept the life style that they are currently following and will have many doubts.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 388 350
No. of Characters: 1834 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.438 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.727 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.508 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 92 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.084 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.455 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.621 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 35, Rule ID: ADOPT_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'adapt to'?
Suggestion: adapt to
...A. The argument clearly tells how to adopt to the new change but the questions that a...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 598, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ffects for these new variety of millet. Since a new variety of millet would always br...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 167, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'A cause' or simply 'causes'?
Suggestion: A cause; Causes
...tion that whether deficiency in vitamin A causes any side effects or illnesses in order ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 287, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...illet. If the deficiency does not bring much changes among the people, it is rare th...
^^^^
Line 7, column 429, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nce they are not aware, largely of these consequences, it would be hard for them ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, if, really, so, then, apart from
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1873.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 388.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.82731958763 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43821085614 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56508824452 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.458762886598 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 603.9 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.9102809314 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.866666667 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8666666667 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.53333333333 5.70786347227 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.355357775766 0.218282227539 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.145086580004 0.0743258471296 195% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0485175194612 0.0701772020484 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.25278552197 0.128457276422 197% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0326744499339 0.0628817314937 52% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.03 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.