"Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom

Essay topics:

"Last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby Omni University increased by 50 percent. During the same year, Omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditures for dormitory and classroom space, most likely because online instruction takes place via the Internet. In contrast, over the past three years, enrollment at Humana University has failed to grow and the cost of maintaining buildings has increased. Thus, to increase enrollment and solve the problem of budget deficits at Humana University, we should initiate and actively promote online degree programs like those at Omni. "

While it may be true that to increase enrollment and to solve the problem of budget deficits at humana university, it is necessary to initiate and actively promote online degree programs like those at omni. The argument does not make a cogent case. it is easy to understand why it is necessary to initiate and actively promote online degree programs like those at omni. but, the argument is rife with holes and assumptions, and thus, not strong enough to support author's recommendation. I think there may be some hidden factors that may claim author's argument to be invalid. therefore, the argument is incomplete.

First of all, the author readily assumes that last year the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby omni university increased by 50 percent. this is merely an assumption without solid ground. As, author only mentions 50 percent rise and no other figure .it is probable that 50 percent is not a noticeable change if increased in past years is slow. Furthermore, author needs to provide more statistical evidence about last year number of students who enrolled in online degree program. therefore, the argument would have been more convincing if it explicitly provide more information about last year, that how the number of students who enrolled in online degree programs offered by nearby omni university increased by 50 percent?

Further, the argument here states that during the same year, omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditure for dormitory and classroom space. Additionally, the author's underlying assumption is that it is because online instruction takes place via the internet. this is again a weak and unsupported claim as it does not demonstrate any correlation between author's conclusion and significant decrease from prior years in expenditure for dormitory and classroom space. it, may possible that there may be another factors due to which omni showed a significant decrease in expenditure for dormitory and classroom space such as there may decrease in enrollment of students in university due to the lack of education or it may equally possible that students decided to stay off campus due to dormitory increase rates.if the argument had provided evidence that omni showed a significant decrease from prior years in expenditure for dormitory and classroom space because online instruction takes place via the internet. Then, it would have been a lot more convincing to the reader.

Votes
Average: 5 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 250, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...e argument does not make a cogent case. it is easy to understand why it is necessa...
^^
Line 1, column 371, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...ine degree programs like those at omni. but, the argument is rife with holes and as...
^^^
Line 1, column 576, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
...y claim authors argument to be invalid. therefore, the argument is incomplete. First...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 178, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...mni university increased by 50 percent. this is merely an assumption without solid g...
^^^^
Line 5, column 289, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ions 50 percent rise and no other figure .it is probable that 50 percent is not a ...
^^
Line 5, column 522, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Therefore
... who enrolled in online degree program. therefore, the argument would have been more conv...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 595, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'provides'?
Suggestion: provides
...e been more convincing if it explicitly provide more information about last year, that ...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 283, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...struction takes place via the internet. this is again a weak and unsupported claim a...
^^^^
Line 9, column 488, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ture for dormitory and classroom space. it, may possible that there may be another...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, if, may, so, then, therefore, thus, while, i think, such as, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 55.5748502994 90% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2096.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 399.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.25313283208 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46933824581 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80973955025 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.436090225564 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 675.9 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 117.353565668 57.8364921388 203% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 131.0 119.503703932 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.9375 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.125 5.70786347227 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 5.15768463074 58% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.570742700926 0.218282227539 261% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.170292716114 0.0743258471296 229% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.183070378503 0.0701772020484 261% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.340054147433 0.128457276422 265% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.173069962264 0.0628817314937 275% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.3799401198 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.47 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.76 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 74.0 98.500998004 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 399 350
No. of Characters: 2047 1500
No. of Different Words: 167 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.469 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.13 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.77 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 123 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 39.9 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.854 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.9 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.445 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.668 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.208 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5