“Medical experts say that only one-quarter of Corpora’s citizens meet the current standards
for adequate physical fitness, even though twenty years ago, one-half of all of
Corpora’s citizens met the standards as then defined. But these experts are mistaken
when they suggest that spending too much time using computers has caused a decline
in fitness. Since overall fitness levels are highest in regions of Corpora where levels of
computer ownership are also highest, it is clear that using computers has not made
citizens less physically fit. Instead, as shown by this year’s unusually low expenditures on
fitness-related products and services, the recent decline in the economy is most likely
the cause, and fitness levels will improve when the economy does.”
The magazine article concerns itself with a common worry in this day and age: health. It
makes an intriguing connection, that of fitness and economic status, but engages it too
many clear logical fallacies and fails to present enough factual evidence to be a truly
compelling argument.
The article itself is discussing the fitness level of Corpora’s citizens, saying that half as
many citizens meet the health standards today as did twenty years ago; standing alone,
it is persuasive evidence that helps the article’s argument. It is the article’s own words
that undercuts its efficacy. By clarifying that there are “current standards” and “standards
as then defined,” the writer questions his or her own connection without
acknowledging the possible repercussions of that change, thereby assuming that the
standards are similar enough for the difference to remain relevant. If that assumption is
incorrect, that is, if the standards twenty years ago are drastically different than those
today, it is possible that there has been no change in the citizens’ fitness at all. It could
just be that fitness standards have become more exacting and the citizens are failing to
measure up the way they did before, under the more accepting fitness standards. If this
were true, the article’s entire purpose would be undermined. There would be no
change in fitness levels at all, and therefore no cause for concern. This is a major flaw in
the argument and should be at least acknowledged by the author, perhaps improved
upon by defining the fitness standards, in order to improve the argument as a whole.
The author of this article also makes a tragic assumption by supposing a correlation
between high rates of computer ownership and computer usage. The author argues
that areas with high computer ownership are also highly fit, and therefore computer usage cannot result in lower fitness. That statement relies on the assumption that a
home has multiple computers because the people in that home are using the
computer. It is entirely possible that those homes are the wealthiest homes and own
multiple computers, but no one in the home uses the computer. Similarly, someone in
a poor neighborhood could not own a computer at all but still use a computer for a
great portion of their day at a job and/or library. High ownership rates do not
necessarily correlate to usage, and therefore the author cannot logically argue that
the relationship between ownership and fitness automatically precludes a correlation
between usage and fitness.
The above assumption has even deeper implications. As discussed, the homes with
high ownership rates could very well, and even most likely, be the wealthiest homes
in Corpora; therefore, the homes with the lowest rates could be the most povertystricken.
Consequently, the high fitness levels in the high ownership areas may have
nothing to do with their computer usage, for which we have no data, or their
computer ownership, which we have no proof they own, but everything to do with
their wealth and subsequent access to private trainers and gyms. If this were true, it
could help strengthen the conclusion of the article’s original argument by taking it on
a slightly different, albeit still economy-concerned, course. It would nonetheless
render the entire article’s actual argument false and therefore pointless.
As evidenced, the article engages in three major assumptions, both stated and
understated, which do a great deal of work in the author’s argument as a whole. That is,
if the assumptions prove true. The reasoning relies on data that isn’t provided and
correlations that may not necessarily exist. For that reason, the article fails to successfully
defend its conclusion. If just one of these assumptions were to prove wrong, the entire
point of the article would be thrown into question, and it is entirely possible that all
three assumptions could be wrong. The author would have to get a great deal more
data and add lengthy explanations of the standards upon which the article relies before
the article could have any hope of standing successfully on its own.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 70 15
No. of Words: 675 350
No. of Characters: 3365 1500
No. of Different Words: 272 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.097 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.985 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.744 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 239 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 185 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 139 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 91 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 9.643 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.691 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.343 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.194 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.808 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.074 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 49 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Compelling
...enough factual evidence to be a truly compelling argument. The article itself is discu...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...t. It is the article's own words that undercuts its efficacy. By clarifying t...
^^^^
Line 17, column 16, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &apos
...s; and 'standards as then defined,' the writer questions his or her own co...
^^^^^^
Line 21, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Standards
...hat change, thereby assuming that the standards are similar enough for the difference t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 21, column 69, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... for the difference to remain relevant. If that assumption is incorrect, that is...
^^
Line 23, column 81, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...nty years ago are drastically different than those today, it is possible that ther...
^^^^
Line 25, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Today
... are drastically different than those today, it is possible that there has been no ...
^^^^^
Line 29, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Measure
...cting and the citizens are failing to measure up the way they did before, under the m...
^^^^^^^
Line 29, column 81, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...r the more accepting fitness standards. If this were true, the article's en...
^^
Line 31, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Were
... accepting fitness standards. If this were true, the article's entire purpose...
^^^^
Line 33, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Change
...ould be undermined. There would be no change in fitness levels at all, and therefore...
^^^^^^
Line 37, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Upon
...edged by the author, perhaps improved upon by defining the fitness standards, in o...
^^^^
Line 41, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Between
...assumption by supposing a correlation between high rates of computer ownership and co...
^^^^^^^
Line 43, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: That
...and computer usage. The author argues that areas with high computer ownership are ...
^^^^
Line 47, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Computer
...the people in that home are using the computer. It is entirely possible that those hom...
^^^^^^^^
Line 49, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Multiple
...omes are the wealthiest homes and own multiple computers, but no one in the home uses ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 53, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Great
...at all but still use a computer for a great portion of their day at a job and/or li...
^^^^^
Line 59, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Between
...automatically precludes a correlation between usage and fitness. The above assumpti...
^^^^^^^
Line 65, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
... most likely, be the wealthiest homes in Corpora; therefore, the homes with the ...
^^
Line 73, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Their
...f they own, but everything to do with their wealth and subsequent access to private...
^^^^^
Line 77, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: A
...s;s original argument by taking it on a slightly different, albeit still econom...
^
Line 79, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Render
...ncerned, course. It would nonetheless render the entire article's actual argume...
^^^^^^
Line 83, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Understated
...ee major assumptions, both stated and understated, which do a great deal of work in the a...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 85, column 1, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...'s argument as a whole. That is, if the assumptions prove true. The reasoni...
^^
Line 87, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Correlations
... on data that isn't provided and correlations that may not necessarily exist. For tha...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 89, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Defend
...on, the article fails to successfully defend its conclusion. If just one of these as...
^^^^^^
Line 93, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Three
... and it is entirely possible that all three assumptions could be wrong. The author ...
^^^^^
Line 97, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
... upon which the article relies before the article could have any hope of standing...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, if, may, nonetheless, similarly, so, still, then, therefore, well, at least
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 29.0 11.1786427146 259% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 26.0 13.6137724551 191% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 28.8173652695 194% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 55.5748502994 124% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3648.0 2260.96107784 161% => OK
No of words: 673.0 441.139720559 153% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.42050520059 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.09335287823 4.56307096286 112% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.03037893395 2.78398813304 109% => OK
Unique words: 294.0 204.123752495 144% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.436849925706 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1097.1 705.55239521 155% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 16.0 4.96107784431 323% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 20.0 8.76447105788 228% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 10.0 1.67365269461 597% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.2602602532 57.8364921388 123% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.111111111 119.503703932 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.9259259259 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.7037037037 5.70786347227 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 49.0 5.15768463074 950% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 28.0 5.25449101796 533% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 8.20758483034 183% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.171795353045 0.218282227539 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.051962958776 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0702023012774 0.0701772020484 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0403547456473 0.128457276422 31% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0589824597032 0.0628817314937 94% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.6 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.45 12.5979740519 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.23 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 145.0 98.500998004 147% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.