Motilac is a substance that occurs naturally in the human digestive tract. Many
consumers of dietary supplements containing motilac report significant easing of digestive
discomfort after just a few weeks of use. Among Greenhorne residents, the consumption
of motilac supplements has increased 80% over the last seven years. Last year,
Greenhorne’s five hospitals reported fewer cases of serious gastrointestinal disorders than
any year on record. Meanwhile, sales of motilac supplements are declining in the
neighboring town of Etolin. Notably, hospitals in Etolin report a steady increase in the last
two years in patients experiencing a wide range of distressing gastrointestinal symptoms.
The clear explanation of these trends is that motilac is effective in preventing many
serious gastrointestinal disorders.
The human digestive system is complex and sensitive. In this prompt, the author highlights a singular substance involved in the digestive process - motilac - to explain statistics regarding gastrointestinal disorders in the neighbouring towns of Greenhorne and Etolin. Namely, that the decrease in reported gastrointestinal disorders in Greenhorne's hospitals correlates to the an increase in the town's citizens' consumption of dietary supplements containing motilac; and that the equivalent decrease in reported gastrointestinal disorders in Etolin's hospitals correlates to a decrease in its citizens' usage of dietary supplements with motilac. This logical argument is extremely flawed, as it draws a generalising conclusion simply from one statistical element. Below, two alternative explanations show how this argument is weak.
Let us begin with the lack of evidence. The author argues that dietary supplements containing motilac ease digestive discomfort. Consequently, the smaller numbers of reported gastrointestinal disorders results from it. The first question to be asked is, how do these supplements correlate to the prevention or even cure of gastrointestinal maladies? Motilac supplements are said to "ease digestion". It is bold to assume that something that eases digestion can in any way prevent much graver gastrointestinal disorders. As it is presented, it sounds like motilac is a run-of-the-mill dietary supplement that eases digestion in, for example, chronically ill people. This would necessarily mean, on the one hand, that motilac would not be a curative, given the perennial condition of a chronic illness. On the other hand, as is the case with most dietary supplements, according to recent statistics, it would hardly be the case that a dietary supplement would be a panacea. One could consider, perhaps, that in the last couple of years, facing the immiment crises of obesity and poor nutrition, the townhall conducted sensibilisation dietary campaigns. It could have partnered with schools, supermarkets, and restaurants to promote a healthier diet and lifestyle and to subdue the use of fats, sugars, etc. It is much more likely that changes in diets account for actual decrease in reported symptons - if one were to accept the equivalence between a healthier diet and a healthier body. If such were the case, a motilac dietary supplement could indeed further promote a good, sound diet and digestive system. However, on its own, motilac could never be the root of the cause of less reported gastrointestinal diseases. Ultimately, we need to know what else could have changed in the town's citizens' habits.
But does decrease in reported diseases actually mean less diseases? The author anchors a correlation between the decrease in reported gastrointestinal illnesses in Greenhorne to the increase in the equivalent statistics of Etolin's hospitals in the consumption of motilac supplements. It could be simply the case, however, that Greenhorne's hospitals have stopped attending to gastrointestinal disorders as they did in the past. Imagine, for example, that there was a reform in the health system of the region that encompasses these two neighbouring towns. As a consequence of this reform, it was decided that the gastrointestinal services in Greenhorne should be transferred to the newer, more adequate facilities of Etolin's hospital. In their turn, Greenhorne's hospitals expanded their neurological services. This would necessarily mean that any patients with symptons of gastrointestinal disorders in Greehorne would instead go to Etolin to the doctor. If both Etolin's and Greenhorne's citizens were to use the gastrointestinal ward in Etolin's hospitals, then this would obviously lead to a steady increase in the usage of its services. Thus, in this scenario, motilac supplements would play no role whatsoever in these statistics and the author's forced correlation would stand as spurious.
In conclusion, as it stands, the argument is flawed. A lot more causes could be, and probably are, at the root on an increase and decrease of reported gastrointestinal disorders, respectively, in Etolin and Greenhorne. As stated above, the digestive system is too complex for one possible trigger to be the cause for a synchronised bettering - or worsening - of a whole town's citizens' digestive processes. It would be interesting to understand, indeed, what impact motilac has had in the health of these citizens. However, a much more intricate study must be conducted that includes a lot more variables than the ones presented in the original prompt.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 33 15
No. of Words: 703 350
No. of Characters: 3793 1500
No. of Different Words: 293 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.149 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.395 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.252 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 297 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 246 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 191 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 129 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.303 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.945 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.263 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.381 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 32, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ng. It is possible that Motilac is a expensive medicine and the people of Gr...
^
Line 13, column 299, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ne are populating the Etolin hospitals. As a result of which declining of reportag...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, however, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, as to, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 55.5748502994 72% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1584.0 2260.96107784 70% => OK
No of words: 313.0 441.139720559 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0607028754 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.20616286096 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80968210076 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 133.0 204.123752495 65% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.424920127796 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 506.7 705.55239521 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.7980647694 57.8364921388 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.142857143 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.3571428571 23.324526521 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.28571428571 5.70786347227 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.107931575982 0.218282227539 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0437455027921 0.0743258471296 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0469161247315 0.0701772020484 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0528185088894 0.128457276422 41% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0406918284328 0.0628817314937 65% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.3799401198 95% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 98.500998004 67% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.