One year ago we introduced our first product, "Bargain Brand" breakfast cereal. Our very low
prices quickly drew many customers away from the top-selling cereal companies. Although the
companies producing the top brands have since tried to compete with us by lowering their
prices, and although several plan to introduce their own budget brands, not once have we
needed to raise our prices to continue making a profit. Given our success selling cereal,
Bargain Brand should now expand its business and begin marketing other low-priced food
products as quickly as possible.
In these memo, the marketing director of Bargain Brand Cereals recommends to expand their business and begin marketing other low priced products as soon as possible so as to compete with other top brand companies who tried to compete with them by lowering their prices. To bolster the recommendation, the marketing director cites the following facts: (1) their low prices quickly drew many costumers away from the top-selling cereal companies (2) their company are still getting enough profit even after other top selling-cereal companies introduced several plans to introduce their budget brands. Close scrutiny of each of these facts however reveals that none of them lend no credible evidence to support the recommendation.
First, the argument readily assumes that their company are making enough profit even after the consequential price reductions from other top selling companies. If this is the case, then there should be enough information to be provided behind such achievement on earning profit. However, the argument doesn't provide viable information on supporting the claim made by the managing director.
Secondly, the argument could have been much clearer if the marketing director reveals what quality of low priced products that they are going to launched on the market to draw the attention of the customers. Thus, only lowering the prices of their cereals products doesn't increased their whole business and make them competitive with their business competitors. Hence, the argument provide no viable evidence to bolster the recommendation.
Finally, the argument fails to mention one of the key factors on the basis of which it could have been evaluated, only lowering prices of their newly launched products doesn't necessarily improved their business. Similarly, it is not good business strategies to enhance their markets by enthralling huge customers. Moreover, the company should installed new technologies and methodologies hired by their other companies so as to allure large customers. The reason behind this is that if qualitative products if reached to the general people will absolutely hold their attention rather than lowering prices so as to make them attractive towards their products. Therefore, the argument remains unsubstantiated and becomes open to debate.
To sum up, the argument relies on dubious assumptions that renders unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the recommendation, the author should provide clear evidence; perhaps by a local study or survey: technologies and methods applied by high ranked cereal companies should be studied and implemented in their own business plans so as to improve the quality of products, proper management and strategies should be built to escalate their business and profit earning and proper quality of products should be launched to common people keeping mind about their buying capacity.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 445 350
No. of Characters: 2387 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.593 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.364 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.773 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 195 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.812 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.356 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.335 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.567 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 4, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this memo' or 'these memos'?
Suggestion: this memo; these memos
In these memo, the marketing director of Bargain Bran...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 64, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommends expanding'.
Suggestion: recommends expanding
...eting director of Bargain Brand Cereals recommends to expand their business and begin marketing othe...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 166, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...low priced products as soon as possible so as to compete with other top brand companies ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 595, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: Scrutiny
...plans to introduce their budget brands. Close scrutiny of each of these facts however reveals ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 302, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...n earning profit. However, the argument doesnt provide viable information on supportin...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 146, Rule ID: GOING_TO_VBD[1]
Message: 'Going to' requires the base form: 'launch'
Suggestion: launch
... priced products that they are going to launched on the market to draw the attention of ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 266, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ng the prices of their cereals products doesnt increased their whole business and make...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 169, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...prices of their newly launched products doesnt necessarily improved their business. Si...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 233, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ved their business. Similarly, it is not good business strategies to enhance thei...
^^
Line 7, column 421, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...dologies hired by their other companies so as to allure large customers. The reason behi...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 509, Rule ID: IF_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
...nd this is that if qualitative products if reached to the general people will abso...
^^
Line 7, column 607, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...r attention rather than lowering prices so as to make them attractive towards their prod...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 331, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...implemented in their own business plans so as to improve the quality of products, proper...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, hence, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, similarly, so, still, then, therefore, thus, as to, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2437.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 442.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.51357466063 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58517132086 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.83972974547 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.504524886878 0.468620217663 108% => OK
syllable_count: 740.7 705.55239521 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 103.38971706 57.8364921388 179% => OK
Chars per sentence: 152.3125 119.503703932 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.625 23.324526521 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.8125 5.70786347227 137% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 13.0 5.25449101796 247% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.127479676711 0.218282227539 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0401655076515 0.0743258471296 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0616148140287 0.0701772020484 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0754902702364 0.128457276422 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0704804166301 0.0628817314937 112% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.3 14.3799401198 127% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.61 48.3550499002 74% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.97 12.5979740519 119% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.76 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.