“In order to alleviate the serious unemployment problem in our town, we should encourage Autotech to build its automobile manufacturing plant in our area. The Hillview landfill, which has been undeveloped for decades, is a perfect site for this plant. The building and staffing of this plant will put to work thousands of Hillview residents left unemployed after Computech computer software programming company abandoned its national facility last year. I am asking the City Council to authorize a large campaign to attract the company and offer significant tax incentives to make our town attractive to this giant of car manufacturing.”
The Mayor of the city Hillview in the memo suggests that to decrease the rate of unemployment in the town, City Council should authorize a large campaign to attract company and offer significant tax incentives to make town attractive to car manufacturing. To support these he presents that the Hillview landfill has been undeveloped for dacades thus become a perfect site for automobile manufacturing plant, and the building and staffing of the plant will put to work thousands of hillview residents, thus by reducing the unemployemet rate. But before City Council could authoriza such large campaign they need to get answers of the flaws that are present in the memo, which are as follow.
Firstly, It has been mentioned in the memo that Hillview landfill had a software company, Computech computer software programming company, which was abandoned its national facility last year and thus making the residents of Hillview unemployed, thus it can be intrepreted that a large number of residents were working for the company and thus the residents were qualified for software company. Thus by inviting a giant car manufacturing company will not effect the unemployment as the majority of the residents are in field of software programming rather than car manufacturing
Also the Mayor suggests that they should encourage Autotech to build automobile manufacturing plant in the area and also adds that landfill is perfect site for the plant, here Mayor is been is partial by just giving a option of the company "Autotech" thus there might be Mayor's greediness by just suggesting of Autotech. Also automobile manufacturing plant depends upon many factors such as availability of raw products, manforce, transportation cost etc., the memo fails to add such factors which suggests that the landfill is perfect site for the plant.
Thus City Council before getting to any decision to bring large campaign to attarct the company must need to answer question such as What's the most popluations qualified for? thus if the most of residents are software engineers then bringing automobile company would be worthless to them. Also is there any fishy reason to bring just Autotech company suggested by Mayor? If yes then City might faced tremendous loss. Thus evalulating many factors and thus then could arrange large campaign to attract a given company.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 379 350
No. of Characters: 1939 1500
No. of Different Words: 170 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.412 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.116 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.777 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 34.455 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 16.4 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.909 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.419 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.648 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.135 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 680, Rule ID: AS_FOLLOW[1]
Message: Did you mean 'as follows'?
Suggestion: as follows
...that are present in the memo, which are as follow. Firstly, It has been mentioned in t...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 278, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
...ployed, thus it can be intrepreted that a large number of residents were working for the company ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 395, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ts were qualified for software company. Thus by inviting a giant car manufacturing c...
^^^^
Line 3, column 455, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...iant car manufacturing company will not effect the unemployment as the majority of the...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ming rather than car manufacturing Also the Mayor suggests that they should enc...
^^^^
Line 6, column 201, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...the plant, here Mayor is been is partial by just giving a option of the company &...
^^
Line 6, column 218, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ayor is been is partial by just giving a option of the company 'Autotech&ap...
^
Line 6, column 333, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ediness by just suggesting of Autotech. Also automobile manufacturing plant depends ...
^^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...dfill is perfect site for the plant. Thus City Council before getting to any deci...
^^^^
Line 8, column 134, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...ny must need to answer question such as Whats the most popluations qualified for? thu...
^^^^^
Line 8, column 176, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...ats the most popluations qualified for? thus if the most of residents are software e...
^^^^
Line 8, column 176, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: thus,
...ats the most popluations qualified for? thus if the most of residents are software e...
^^^^
Line 8, column 188, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the residents') or simply say ''most residents''.
Suggestion: most of the residents; most residents
... popluations qualified for? thus if the most of residents are software engineers then bringing au...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 290, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ile company would be worthless to them. Also is there any fishy reason to bring just...
^^^^
Line 8, column 372, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...st Autotech company suggested by Mayor? If yes then City might faced tremendous lo...
^^
Line 8, column 418, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... then City might faced tremendous loss. Thus evalulating many factors and thus then ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, so, then, thus, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 43.0 55.5748502994 77% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 16.3942115768 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1987.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 379.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.24274406332 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41224685777 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90661479674 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.461741424802 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 609.3 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 34.0 22.8473053892 149% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 137.529020228 57.8364921388 238% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 180.636363636 119.503703932 151% => OK
Words per sentence: 34.4545454545 23.324526521 148% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.36363636364 5.70786347227 94% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 16.0 5.25449101796 305% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.272633924321 0.218282227539 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0978020624987 0.0743258471296 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.108866290125 0.0701772020484 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.176803728136 0.128457276422 138% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.111516535649 0.0628817314937 177% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 20.5 14.3799401198 143% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.97 48.3550499002 76% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.6 12.197005988 136% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.7 12.5979740519 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.53 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 77.0 98.500998004 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 20.0 12.3882235529 161% => OK
gunning_fog: 15.6 11.1389221557 140% => OK
text_standard: 21.0 11.9071856287 176% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.