In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 P.M. rather than 9:00 P.M. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores
While it may be true that in order to face the current problem, a decline in profit, the video rental stores must reduce their operating cost, this argument is not coherent enough to make this claim persuasive.
Primarily, the argument assumes a special condition that is true for a certain area is similarly applicable for all areas, and thus generalizes the condition. However, it may be true that the store in downtown Marston took its decision to close store at 6.00 PM because from past experience it observed that no purchase occur after 6 PM and if the store is kept open after 6 PM, it is nothing but increase in operating cost without any profit. The working hour of the people in that location may be the driving factor behind this scenario; people their usually do not go out after 6 PM and like to stay in their home and thus the store took its decision to close the store after 6 PM. On the other hand, it may happen that the stores are located in busy area where people usually come to stores after 6 PM and they continue their shopping till midnight and the decision of closing stores at 6 PM will hurt the stores. Had the argument stated that all the areas in which the stores are located are of similar condition and have the same experience of pick hour selling, only then it would be easy to accept the decision to close all stores at 6PM .
Secondly, even if it is true that all the stores experience similar pick hour sell, the argument does not state categorically that store at Marston, since its decision to close store at 6PM, is making profit. On the other hand, the argument simply states that a decision has been taken but we do not even know the outcome of that decision to accept the conclusion of the argument. It may happen that after taking the decision that particular store experienced a rapid decline in sell rather than profit.
Thirdly, the argument states that Marston store removed all movies released more than five years ago to reduce the operating cost. It may be the scenario that, people there only prefer recent movies and they do not like to enjoy movies which are obsolete. But, on the other hand, the people where the stores are located may be such that, they prefer obsolete movies; they used to enjoy movies several decades old and usually avoid recent movies. So, before taking further decision we need to appraise the taste of the people where other stores are located.
In last, the argument assumes that in order to increase profit, there is only one way-reduce the operating cost. However, it may be true that profit is declining because of the recent recession: the people of the areas in which stores are located are struggling in terms of their economic condition and they are now not inclined to spend money after movies. So, reduction of operating cost is not going to help the stores.
The argument is flawed for numerous unwarranted assumptions and some questions must be answered in order to consider it as a cogent one, otherwise not.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 534 350
No. of Characters: 2415 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.807 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.522 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.262 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 165 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 31.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.743 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.882 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.382 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.635 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 275, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n to close store at 6.00 PM because from past experience it observed that no purc...
^^
Line 3, column 277, Rule ID: PAST_EXPERIENCE_MEMORY[1]
Message: Use simply 'experience'.
Suggestion: experience
...to close store at 6.00 PM because from past experience it observed that no purchase occur afte...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1140, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... accept the decision to close all stores at 6PM . Secondly, even if it is true ...
^^
Line 3, column 1148, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...the decision to close all stores at 6PM . Secondly, even if it is true that all...
^^
Line 7, column 447, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[4]
Message: “So , before” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...es old and usually avoid recent movies. So, before taking further decision we need to appr...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, second, secondly, similarly, so, then, third, thirdly, thus, while, it is true, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 28.8173652695 163% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 55.5748502994 122% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2475.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 534.0 441.139720559 121% => OK
Chars per words: 4.63483146067 5.12650576532 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80712388197 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.31799064243 2.78398813304 83% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.411985018727 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 792.0 705.55239521 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 31.0 22.8473053892 136% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 58.7614967033 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 145.588235294 119.503703932 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 31.4117647059 23.324526521 135% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.05882352941 5.70786347227 124% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0967906892299 0.218282227539 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0457969711999 0.0743258471296 62% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0328079191682 0.0701772020484 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0722398053521 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0321711814754 0.0628817314937 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.47 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.17 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 98.500998004 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.4 11.1389221557 129% => OK
text_standard: 19.0 11.9071856287 160% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.