In the past few years, Fern Valley University has suffered from a decline in both enrollments and admissions applications. The reason can be discovered from our students, who most often cite poor teaching and inadequate library resources as their chief sources of dissatisfaction with Fern Valley. Therefore, in order to increase the number of students attending our university, and hence to regain our position as the most prestigious university in the greater Fern Valley metropolitan area, it is necessary to initiate a fund-raising campaign among the alumni that will enable us to expand the range of subjects we teach and to increase the size of our library facilities
The argument is initiated with the claim that fund raising campaign among the alumni would enable Fern Valley University to regain its position as the most prestigious university in the greater Fern Valley metropolitan area. To arrive at this conclusion the argument is presented with various assumptions and facts. On closer scrutiny one can see various weak links in the argument that stands out as logical flaws. Each of these flaws has been discussed in the succeeding paragraphs.
A reason has been mentioned in the argument that poor teaching and inadequate library resources, has been a major complaint by the students studying in the university but to assume that this is the only reason for the university suffering from a decline in both enrollments and admission applications is major blunder on account the administrative department. There might be a quite a few reasons for reduced number of enrollments like the quality education, job prospects after graduation and the fee structure of the college. Any of these reasons has not been mentioned in the argument.
The second unwarranted assumption made in the argument is that initiating a fund raising campaign among alumni would help regain the position of the university. Nowhere in the argument it states that the university doesn't have enough money to provide the required resources and needs funding. Even after organizing the campaign it doesn't assure that the alumni attending would donate enough money needed to pump up the resources.
The argument concludes that by expanding the range of subjects they teach and increasing their library facilities will attract more enrollments. Just by increasing the resources provided, the university can't become the prestigious university in the greater Fern Valley metropolitan area. This assumption has no strong evidence to support its claim.
Therefore, the argument presented lacks any serious support and fails to consider the logical flaws in its assumptions. It is safe to say that the administrative department of Fern Valley department needs and upgrade and hire professionals to come up with better ideas to regain its former reputation.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 343 350
No. of Characters: 1797 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.304 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.239 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.854 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.867 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.488 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.2 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.366 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.366 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.094 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 215, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... argument it states that the university doesnt have enough money to provide the requir...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 293, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[2]
Message: “Even after” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e required resources and needs funding. Even after organizing the campaign it doesnt assur...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 331, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
.... Even after organizing the campaign it doesnt assure that the alumni attending would ...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 203, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
... the resources provided, the university cant become the prestigious university in th...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, second, so, therefore, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1822.0 2260.96107784 81% => OK
No of words: 341.0 441.139720559 77% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.3431085044 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29722995808 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90623677509 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.510263929619 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 570.6 705.55239521 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.2317478208 57.8364921388 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.466666667 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7333333333 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.2 5.70786347227 39% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.214599911462 0.218282227539 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0578590492796 0.0743258471296 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0789303380726 0.0701772020484 112% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.106607797032 0.128457276422 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0892385413493 0.0628817314937 142% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.99 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.8 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.