"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
Dependence of hierarchy in Rhesus monkeys, as the author remarks, is based on individual levels of stimulation, analogous to that found in humans. But his claim is based on certain assumptions and is rife with loopholes that argue otherwise.
The subjects, eighteen rhesus monkeys under test, might have been collected from the same geographic location, having similar climatic factors. Had one monkey been collected from each place that houses the rhesus species, all across the globe, the inferences could have been different. Moreover, a meager study of only eighteen monkeys might not produce substantial results about their general behavioral pattern and response to stimulating situations.
The author states that first born monkeys produce cortisol levels twice as high as its younger siblings. But there can be anomalies about this notion. Had the siblings been exposed to more stimulating or threatening situations than the older ones, they might have produced higher levels of hormones than the first born child. The younger babies might develop the ability to secrete more cortisol with the passage of time, age and experience than their elder ones. Older monkeys, while encountering other unfamiliar monkeys, might as well be frightened instead of exhibiting their virility. Order of birth cannot be ascertained on the rate of hormone production alone- there may be other parameters that influence it.
The author compares the study of the rhesus species with that of the humans, who are rather quite akin to monkeys as goes the biological structures and tries to educe similar patterns. The correlations might be logical to an extent, but they do not strengthen his argument. Return of a parent after an absence might be stimulating for one, while it may not affect the other person. Threatening or exciting situations vary from person to person, and a study pattern of how they react to a given circumstance would not predict their birth order correctly.
Studies have shown that there exist higher levels of cortisol hormones during pregnancy of first time in mother monkeys. We, however, cannot rule out problems that might have occurred during birth. Higher levels of hormones in mothers do not necessarily imply the same in their children. Birth complications might result in babies with the inability of producing enough hormones. Had there been more than one offspring at a time, there would have been chances for one baby inheriting the mother’s traits more than the others. A healthy monkey who has had offspring might give birth to a more competent child than the first-time mother monkey if her health conditions were worse.
The theory of hierarchy in rhesus monkeys on the basis of hormone stimulation may fail to establish strong grounds given that, there are alternatives enough to refute what the author had claimed. Moreover, a closer look into their behavioral patterns, inter-species interaction in addition to the proposed claim might shed some more light on the focus of the study.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
samples:
https://www.testbig.com/story/gre-argument-essay-topic-2-outline
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 484 350
No. of Characters: 2480 1500
No. of Different Words: 241 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.69 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.124 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.562 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 183 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.043 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.224 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.609 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.293 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.54 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, look, may, moreover, so, then, well, while, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2556.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 484.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.28099173554 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69041575982 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64812527037 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 250.0 204.123752495 122% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.51652892562 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 781.2 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.7650682254 57.8364921388 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.130434783 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.0434782609 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.47826086957 5.70786347227 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.207652214104 0.218282227539 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0589708510796 0.0743258471296 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0373740321805 0.0701772020484 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107655591124 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0480577453891 0.0628817314937 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.34 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.32208582834 109% => OK
difficult_words: 135.0 98.500998004 137% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.