The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
In the letter, the author attirbutes an individual's levels of stimulation to the effects of birth order. To buttress his/her claim, the author cites two studies concerning rhesus monkeys and also human infants. Though the reason provided by the author may account for the cortisol level generated in different individuals, I would like to argue that there are other factors that can contribute to such differences. Neither can we safely assert that one factor alone is responsible for the results observed in the experiments.
To start with, let's take a look at the first experiment concerning eighteen rhesus monkeys. We can notice that order of birth is probably not the only difference between the tested monkeys. The most obvious factor that could influence the results of the experiment is that the firstborn monkey is older than its siblings. Generally speaking, older monkeys tend to have bigger mass and consequently would generate more hormone cortisol. It is also likely that the firstborn monkey is better feed, or even better trained to react to stimulations. We can not decide which factor is account for the different cortisol levels among the eighteen monkeys in stimulating situations since we are not informed of how they are brought up and we also do not know whether they are potentially different in ways other than their birth order.
In addition, the author also provide information about an experiment in which firstborn humans produce high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations. Even if we acknowledge for know that age or weight will not influence cortisol levels, the firstborn babies may be more reactive to stimulations such as the return of a parent after an absence because they have spent longer period with their parents and have developed a closer relationship with their parents. It is quite understandable that the babies will be more excited about the reunion with a parent if they are more emotionally attached to their parents.
Finally, the author mentioned another study demonstrating that first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol. This situation is also open to different explanations. The first-time monkeys may be more nervous about pregnance compared with those wo had had several offspings and are not fully prepared mentally and physically. If this is the case, then it is the emotional conditions that is responsible for higher levels of cirtisol rather than birth order.
To draw a conclusion, while the reasoning given by the author might be reasonable, there are also other explanations that could rival the one provided by the author. We would need to carefully considerate all the possible explanations before deciding which is the most compelling one.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 441 350
No. of Characters: 2253 1500
No. of Different Words: 216 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.583 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.109 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.733 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 168 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.211 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.802 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.537 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 13, column 258, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: had
... about pregnance compared with those wo had had several offspings and are not fully pre...
^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 84, Rule ID: ALSO_OTHER[1]
Message: Use simply 'there are other' or 'there are also'
Suggestion: there are other; there are also
...iven by the author might be reasonable, there are also other explanations that could rival the one p...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, first, if, look, may, so, then, while, in addition, such as, to start with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2307.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 440.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24318181818 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57997565096 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80151873658 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.495454545455 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 718.2 705.55239521 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.607460785 57.8364921388 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.421052632 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1578947368 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.68421052632 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.169481057172 0.218282227539 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0609823593686 0.0743258471296 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0751381847899 0.0701772020484 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0957334940326 0.128457276422 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0599991833277 0.0628817314937 95% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.41 12.5979740519 106% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.47 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.