The presented passage takes issue to the lower levels of tooth decay in children living in the Himalayan mountain region in Nepal compared to children living in suburban areas in the United States despite having much lesser dental care compared to the people in suburban areas of United States. Thus, the passage concludes that regular dental care is not helpful in preventing tooth decay. Although the claim might have merit, it make several questionable premises and assumptions, relies on a improbable explanation based on an ambiguous study and thus, cannot be taken as valid.
The primary issue with the argument is the lack of substantiation. The study fails to mention any links of whether the sample population considered was representative of both the populations of United States and the Himalayan regions in Nepal. It might be the case that the sample size was small enough to make any reasonable conclusion. Perhaps, the people considered for the study were not picked randomly, accounting to the bias observed in the study results.
In addition, there has been no mention of the dental care facilities that people in suburban areas in the United States were using. An alternative explanation of the study results could be that only the richer section of the society were using this facility. Or perhaps, not everyone was visiting the dentist regularly and the overall average dentist visit counted to 1.25 for the entire population. Furthermore, the proficiency of the orthodontists has to be brought into question. If these doctors were competent enough to treat their patients, they might have done nothing significant in order to prevent tooth decay. Perhaps, all they did was rinsing the patients's mouth with soapy water and visit them a year later.
Finally, a host of other factors could have contributed to the apparent discrepancy in the differential levels of tooth decay. The lifestyle of the Americans might be the relevant factor: eating processed sugary foods and beverages that stick on the teeth; compounded by irregular brushing of teeth and poor oral hygiene. Higher fluoride levels or other affecting chemicals in water in America might be the culprit for deteriorating oral health. Perhaps, the genetics favor the people living in Himalayan regions to impart healthier tooth and gums. These mountain regions are known for the potent effects of their medicinal herbs. Consuming them properly might be attributed to the observed salubrious state of the Himalayan kids compared to the Western children in America.
In sum, there are a host of possibilities that can be relevant in explaining the overall study. To improve the argument, the author must rephrase his argument, consider alternative routes for logical deduction, and provide conclusive evidence to give a sound footing to his claim.
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK
argument 2 -- not OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.0 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 454 350
No. of Characters: 2328 1500
No. of Different Words: 232 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.616 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.128 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.669 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 175 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 133 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 89 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.619 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.208 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.286 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.057 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 431, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'makes'?
Suggestion: makes
...Although the claim might have merit, it make several questionable premises and assum...
^^^^
Line 1, column 493, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ble premises and assumptions, relies on a improbable explanation based on an ambi...
^
Line 5, column 648, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'rinse'
Suggestion: rinse
... tooth decay. Perhaps, all they did was rinsing the patientss mouth with soapy water an...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 21, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'hosts'?
Suggestion: hosts
...dren in America. In sum, there are a host of possibilities that can be relevant i...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, furthermore, if, so, thus, as to, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 55.5748502994 112% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2383.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 454.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24889867841 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.73349082555 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 234.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.515418502203 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 751.5 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.8324355893 57.8364921388 88% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.476190476 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.619047619 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.80952380952 5.70786347227 49% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.313136223685 0.218282227539 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0775389899056 0.0743258471296 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.127642389794 0.0701772020484 182% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162339935607 0.128457276422 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.146645653567 0.0628817314937 233% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.27 8.32208582834 111% => OK
difficult_words: 132.0 98.500998004 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.