The owner of the Movies Galore movie-rental store recieves in his memorandum a reccomendation to increase his profits of the movie chain by closing early and eleminating movie stocks that are older than 5 years. Writer of this argument bases his cites the improvement in one of the ten rental stores which experimented this heuristic, as a support. Only one instance of the success of this formula is the pillar of his assertion. Though his claim may have merit, the thesis is largely built on questionable premises and assumptions, also lacking any considerable basis. The argument presented is flismy and fails to provide a cogent analysis.
The author's premise rests on unwarranted claims. He reasons that the operating expenses must be reduced to increase the profits of the movie stores. Is that the only way, or the way-to-go? Shouldn't the store opt for expansion schemes, it having a good rap among the buyers? Also, is there any obvious flaws in the services provided to the customers, depleted collection of products, or lacking versitality has to be answered firsthand. The cause of the plummeting profits has to be diagnosed, before jumping to draw any conclusions.
On top of the vague assumptions made by the speaker, he suggests that increasing rental prices might sabotage the brand name of Movies Galore stores, because of its repute for being special bargains. Well, if the chain has a good name, and the services are truly liked by the people, charging a premium won't hurt many, not the affluent ones atleast. Or is the case that the brand is popular only because it is cheap and affordable with a lacklustre collection of movies? If this is so the case, then the idea might be heedful. In addition, if the store is more suitable for an avergae bloke, then the cause of decline in profits might be imputed to the fact of increasing competition. Is the movie-rental market in a fray? Decreasing working hours and eliminating stocks while vying for market capitalisation would be an impolitic move.
In addition to the unwarranted justifications and unanswered queries critical to the finance and competition of the chain store, a single proof of the improvement in profits has been presented. Does a single occurence validate the above claim? Was closing stores and removing archaic movie collection the only cause of improving prices? Perhaps, a trend for movie watching is on the go, or the recently hired sales and marketing staff is outperforming the dwindling profits, or both of them. Is the locality of this Galore movie-store undergoing renovation, or a new mall being constructed driving a larger customer base to the store? Nevertheless, all ten stores couldn't possibly be alike in all respects - localities, exact viewership demographics, working staff, collections of products. What works in one case may not in other.
In sum, the writer's take on the issue is insular, suffering from unproven assumptions, without dependable substantiations. To appeal on any reader on average, he must rephrase the argument, provide relvant justifications for his underlying hypothesis, and fix the logical flaws in his critique. Otherwise, it is unlikely to convince the owner that using shortened working hours at all movie rental stores and elimination of older movies is going to increase the profits.
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The owner of the Movies Galore movie-rental store recieves in his memorandum a reccomendation to increase his profits of the movie chain by closing early and eleminating movie stocks that are older than 5 years.
Error: eleminating Suggestion: eliminating
Error: recieves Suggestion: receives
Error: reccomendation Suggestion: recommendation
Sentence: The argument presented is flismy and fails to provide a cogent analysis.
Error: flismy Suggestion: flimsy
Sentence: Also, is there any obvious flaws in the services provided to the customers, depleted collection of products, or lacking versitality has to be answered firsthand.
Error: versitality Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Well, if the chain has a good name, and the services are truly liked by the people, charging a premium won't hurt many, not the affluent ones atleast.
Error: atleast Suggestion: attest
Sentence: Or is the case that the brand is popular only because it is cheap and affordable with a lacklustre collection of movies?
Error: lacklustre Suggestion: cluster
Sentence: In addition, if the store is more suitable for an avergae bloke, then the cause of decline in profits might be imputed to the fact of increasing competition.
Error: avergae Suggestion: average
Sentence: Decreasing working hours and eliminating stocks while vying for market capitalisation would be an impolitic move.
Error: capitalisation Suggestion: capitalization
Sentence: Does a single occurence validate the above claim?
Error: occurence Suggestion: occurrence
Sentence: To appeal on any reader on average, he must rephrase the argument, provide relvant justifications for his underlying hypothesis, and fix the logical flaws in his critique.
Error: relvant Suggestion: relevant
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flaws:
it is not argued exactly according to the topic. need to argue those:
argument 1:
Raising prices is not a good option, since we are famous for our low prices.
argument 2:
Instead, we should reduce our operating hours. Last month our store in downtown Marston reduced its hours by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and reduced its overall inventory by no longer stocking any DVD released more than five years ago.
argument 3:
Since we have received very few customer complaints about these new policies, we should now adopt them at all other Movies Galore stores as our best strategies for improving profits.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 547 350
No. of Characters: 2713 1500
No. of Different Words: 279 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.836 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.96 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.863 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 196 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 156 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 108 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.536 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.157 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.321 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.248 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.436 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.071 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 118, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...a reccomendation to increase his profits of the movie chain by closing early and ...
^^^
Line 2, column 118, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...er than 5 years. Writer of this argument bases his cites the improvement in one o...
^^^
Line 3, column 118, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ented this heuristic, as a support. Only one instance of the success of this form...
^^^
Line 4, column 120, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ugh his claim may have merit, the thesis is largely built on questionable premise...
^^^
Line 5, column 72, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e premises and assumptions, also lacking any considerable basis. The argument pre...
^^
Line 8, column 120, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...expenses must be reduced to increase the profits of the movie stores. Is that the...
^^^
Line 9, column 70, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: Shouldn't
...Is that the only way, or the way-to-go? Shouldnt the store opt for expansion schemes, it...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 125, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ore opt for expansion schemes, it having a good rap among the buyers? Also, is th...
^^^
Line 10, column 125, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ed to the customers, depleted collection of products, or lacking versitality has ...
^^^
Line 11, column 130, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ting profits has to be diagnosed, before jumping to draw any conclusions. On ...
^^^
Line 14, column 128, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... prices might sabotage the brand name of Movies Galore stores, because of its rep...
^^^
Line 15, column 129, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...in has a good name, and the services are truly liked by the people, charging a pr...
^^^
Line 16, column 126, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tleast. Or is the case that the brand is popular only because it is cheap and aff...
^^^
Line 17, column 132, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...this is so the case, then the idea might be heedful. In addition, if the store is...
^^^
Line 18, column 131, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e of decline in profits might be imputed to the fact of increasing competition. I...
^^^
Line 19, column 131, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rking hours and eliminating stocks while vying for market capitalisation would be...
^^^
Line 22, column 129, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ance and competition of the chain store, a single proof of the improvement in pro...
^^^
Line 23, column 134, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...date the above claim? Was closing stores and removing archaic movie collection th...
^^^
Line 24, column 140, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e watching is on the go, or the recently hired sales and marketing staff is outpe...
^^^
Line 25, column 132, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... the locality of this Galore movie-store undergoing renovation, or a new mall bei...
^^^
Line 26, column 130, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...the store? Nevertheless, all ten stores couldnt possibly be alike in all respects - l...
^^^^^^^
Line 26, column 137, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...re? Nevertheless, all ten stores couldnt possibly be alike in all respects - loca...
^^^
Line 27, column 133, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
..., collections of products. What works in one case may not in other. In sum, t...
^^^
Line 31, column 129, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...fications for his underlying hypothesis, and fix the logical flaws in his critiqu...
^^^
Line 32, column 126, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...owner that using shortened working hours at all movie rental stores and eliminati...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, may, nevertheless, so, then, well, while, as to, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 11.1786427146 161% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2835.0 2260.96107784 125% => OK
No of words: 544.0 441.139720559 123% => OK
Chars per words: 5.21139705882 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82947280553 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96032400632 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 287.0 204.123752495 141% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527573529412 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 873.0 705.55239521 124% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 9.0 1.67365269461 538% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 12.0 4.22255489022 284% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 51.8720462646 57.8364921388 90% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.25 119.503703932 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4285714286 23.324526521 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.75 5.70786347227 48% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 29.0 5.15768463074 562% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 25.0 5.25449101796 476% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.27917899356 0.218282227539 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0711698547542 0.0743258471296 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.102009629465 0.0701772020484 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.07078152178 0.128457276422 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0911624445529 0.0628817314937 145% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.28 8.32208582834 112% => OK
difficult_words: 162.0 98.500998004 164% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.