"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."
In this argument, the author urged to consider that there exists a relationship between hours of sleep and the productivity of the firm. To support his recommendation, he cited that employees sleeping lesser than 6 hours daily are good enough for a business to prosper. I find this argument unconvincing and not cogent for some reasons.
First, the author states that there is an association between employees sleeping hours and the success of their firm. This claim cannot be accepted as it stands. It is equally possible to assume that the success of the firm depends upon the employee performance and the amount of work given to them within the specified time. Perhaps, the employee benefits given by the firm also play a crucial role in the successful organization. For example, Google.Inc does not have the specific timings for the employees to come and leave the office and on the top, they provide the sleeping pods where employees can sleep if they feel tired during working hours. Consequently, the results given by the employee are impeccable which determine the growth of their company. While the brief statement of company performance is contingent on the employee sleep timings, it does not deficit between what is stated and what there is there to evident for it and is too large to the overlooked. This ultimately causes a week argument that will count against the authors conclusion.
Second, the argument hypothesized that the company should hire the employees that sleep lesser than 6 hours per night so that their business can bolster. This assumption is unwarranted. The correlation between sleep and work does not prove the causation for the business to prosper. As the author talks about the advertising firm, it comprises of work that can be done within the office premises rather than going out in the field. In the absence of the commutation, the level of tiredness is lessor in desk-job with comparison to the field- work where employees have to travel to different locations, which is exonerating. According to the science, a person needs to sleep atleast 8 hours daily to give their optimum performance through out the day and by reducing the hours of sleep, the employers are directly compromising on their performance at work. Therefore, this assumption is overgeneralized and the authors' argument lacks compelling and affluent reasons to convince his proposal.
However, the argument showed the recent study which claims that employees who sleep less make more profit margin. But the author never discusses the kind of males and females participating. It is easier for the bachelor employees to sleep less before heading back to work but it tends to be difficult for the married and even more tedious with the couples having kids. Also, location players the important role for the employee as greater the traveling they have to do, lessor is the time they get to relax, hence effecting on their work-performance. Hence the author is flawed in a way that he fails to substantiate his conclusion with the strong evidence and is termed with poor reasoning.
In conclusion, this is an ambiguous argument. To strengthen it, the author must at very least offer the concrete perhaps by the survey participating the employees (single and married) and the employers to show the evidence for his correlation between the sleeping hours of employees and the faster growth of the business.
Comments
Have I refuted correctly to
Have I refuted correctly to the authors' arguments this time?
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK, but don't use use 'However' at the beginning of the paragraph. simply use 'Third, ...' for the third argument.
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also need to mention: it is a 'A recent study ...'
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 565 350
No. of Characters: 2790 1500
No. of Different Words: 259 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.875 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.938 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.697 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 196 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 103 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.767 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.52 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.274 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.455 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.056 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 453, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Inc
...ssful organization. For example, Google.Inc does not have the specific timings for ...
^^^
Line 3, column 1043, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ek argument that will count against the authors conclusion. Second, the argument hy...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 335, Rule ID: COMPRISES_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'comprises' or 'consists of'?
Suggestion: comprises; consists of
...or talks about the advertising firm, it comprises of work that can be done within the office...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 731, Rule ID: THROUGH_OUT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'throughout'?
Suggestion: throughout
...daily to give their optimum performance through out the day and by reducing the hours of sl...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 911, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...s assumption is overgeneralized and the authors argument lacks compelling and affluent ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 552, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ce effecting on their work-performance. Hence the author is flawed in a way that he f...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, hence, however, if, look, second, so, then, therefore, while, for example, in conclusion, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 55.5748502994 133% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 16.3942115768 165% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2856.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 564.0 441.139720559 128% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06382978723 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.87326216964 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7903790929 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 266.0 204.123752495 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.471631205674 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 844.2 705.55239521 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.7044775943 57.8364921388 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.24 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.56 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.16 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20460827558 0.218282227539 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.061881272432 0.0743258471296 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0632591654284 0.0701772020484 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.121651766411 0.128457276422 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0253704182486 0.0628817314937 40% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.36 12.5979740519 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.26 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 126.0 98.500998004 128% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.