"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."
The article implies that a key fact to the success of business is their employees' ability to work with less than 6 hours of sleep and therefore companies should hire only them who sleep less than 6 hours per night. To support the argument, the writer mentions a study report in which some particular advertising firms are surveyed and their findings is that executives who sleep less than 6 hours per night lead their company to higher profit margins and faster growth. The argument is full of logical fallacies and not convincing at all.
At first, the study has been operated on a particular type of advertising agencies i.e. Mentian advertising agencies. According to the study on this particular type of advertising agencies, the writer illogically implies that the finding is applicable for all business organizations. All business organizations and in fact, all advertising agencies are not operated according to the same policy and the type of works can be totally different. So, the result of particular study can't be implemented to all type of business facilities without further proof.
Secondly, the study has stated a sample size but no data is provided about how many executives work in Mentian advertising agencies. If this sample size is too small and doesn't represent executives of all level, the study result can't be acceptable as a fact.
Moreover, there is no information provided about whether the survey has been done on all executives of of the companies studied or this was a mere survey optional for the executives. If this survey was optional to executives, the result might have provided only a partial view.
Another fact necessary to validate the study is the timespan of the study. If the study considers a little period of time like a week of months sleep pattern of executives, it may not represent the actual average hours of sleep the executives take.
There is another gap of the study. No information has been provided about how many agencies have been studies. If the number of agencies studies is a small percentage of all advertising agencies, then this study may not be valid even for advertising agencies. The conditions of the companies studied are also very important. The companies previous history should be analogous and no information is provided to support this.
Lastly, executies sleep pattern may not represent the whole workforce of a company.
In conclusion, I need further information on study, the criterions of the study. The writer should provide data to show that this study would be valid for all business organizations and the executives represent the total workforce at a whole. Further information needed about sample size also to convince me with the argument.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 452 350
No. of Characters: 2233 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.611 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.94 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.751 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.545 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.311 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.337 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.646 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 8 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 479, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ent. So, the result of particular study cant be implemented to all type of business ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 171, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...s. If this sample size is too small and doesnt represent executives of all level, the ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 230, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ecutives of all level, the study result cant be acceptable as a fact. Moreover, th...
^^^^
Line 7, column 101, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: of
... survey has been done on all executives of of the companies studied or this was a mer...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 108, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
... study. If the study considers a little period of time like a week of months sleep pattern of ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, lastly, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, in conclusion, in fact
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2286.0 2260.96107784 101% => OK
No of words: 451.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06873614191 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60833598836 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81025137575 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.421286031042 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 732.6 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.2419240762 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.909090909 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.5 23.324526521 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.81818181818 5.70786347227 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 8.0 5.15768463074 155% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222855485229 0.218282227539 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0659877919338 0.0743258471296 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0624561353876 0.0701772020484 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.109135496726 0.128457276422 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0613319741312 0.0628817314937 98% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 98.500998004 92% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.