A recent survey of 250 adults between 30-45 showed an association between the number of hours adults spend online each day and self reporting of symptoms commonly associated with depression. The survey found that adults who spend 30 hours or more online e

Essay topics: A recent survey of 250 adults between 30-45 showed an association between the number of hours adults spend online each day and self reporting of symptoms commonly associated with depression. The survey found that adults who spend 30 hours or more online each week were twice as likely as others to report that they “frequently” had trouble concentrating. Of adults who reported spending more than 30 hours per week online, 20% also reported that they had felt “sad, down or blue” at least three times within last month.
These results suggest that spending too much time online is linked to depression and people who want to improve their well-being should strictly limit the time they spend online.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

pooja96's picture

The argument states that a survey of 250 adults between the ages of 30 and 45 showed that the number of hours they spend online and self-reporting of symptoms is associated with depression. There are number of questions that need to be answered so that the result can be proved to be true.

The argument states that the result was found from a survey. However it is not mentioned in the argument any specifics about the survey. There are some questions which need to be answered. Who did the survey? Is the source creditable? Even if this was mentioned in the argument, if the people who were asked the questions did not reply honestly, then the argument would fall apart. So we cannot prove the result to be true on basis of the survey.

The survey says that adults who spend 30 hours or more online each week were twice as likely to report that they frequently had trouble concentrating. How much does frequent mean? Frequent is very vague term and cannot be linked to depression. Many people have trouble concentrating. But it may be because they are distracted and like to spend time online and not because they cannot concentrate. Trouble concentrating has nothing to do with depression anyhow. If a person has problem concentrating, it does not mean that he is depressed.

Out of the adults who said that they spend more than 30 hours per week online, 20 percent also reported that they felt sad at least three times within the past month. It is normal for people to feel sad. Everyone has their happy as well as sad moments. It does not mean that a person is depressed if he feels sad. If the person feels sad for say fifteen days in a month we may conclude that the person has depression but the argument states at least three times, so we cannot say if the person is depressed or not. The argument says that people who want to improve their well-being should limit the time they spend online. However, it is possible that people get refreshed after they go online. Also it is possible that out of the people surveyed, some may be spending time online for work related study. So the time they spend online is not for leisure. If this is true then it could change the result of the survey.

The argument has a lot of questions that need to be answered so the result is true. Had the argument stated who has taken the survey, the argument would have been more convincing.

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Average: 5 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 63, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...at the result was found from a survey. However it is not mentioned in the argument any...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 156, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...equently had trouble concentrating. How much does frequent mean? Frequent is very va...
^^^^
Line 7, column 696, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ple get refreshed after they go online. Also it is possible that out of the people s...
^^^^
Line 7, column 856, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e they spend online is not for leisure. If this is true then it could change the r...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, honestly, however, if, may, so, then, well, at least, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 28.8173652695 146% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 55.5748502994 65% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1961.0 2260.96107784 87% => OK
No of words: 431.0 441.139720559 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.54988399072 5.12650576532 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55637350225 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42460395873 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 204.123752495 89% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.422273781903 0.468620217663 90% => OK
syllable_count: 589.5 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Interrogative: 2.0 0.471057884232 425% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.6919858069 57.8364921388 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 70.0357142857 119.503703932 59% => More chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 15.3928571429 23.324526521 66% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.67857142857 5.70786347227 47% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 14.0 6.88822355289 203% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.28049618954 0.218282227539 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0749964413803 0.0743258471296 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.136373934847 0.0701772020484 194% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.181845002516 0.128457276422 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.1364328775 0.0628817314937 217% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.7 14.3799401198 54% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.17 48.3550499002 151% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 12.197005988 56% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 8.81 12.5979740519 70% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.91 8.32208582834 83% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 98.500998004 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 5.5 12.3882235529 44% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 11.9071856287 59% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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