A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author points out that the increasing use of food products containing salicylates will have the aid to reduce headaches in Mantia. However, the author needs to provide sufficient evidence to prove the claim.
First of all, is the study conducted in a controlled group where people have the same habits and health knowledge? The residents in Mantia might improve their knowledge in health issues by reading health articles and TV programs, therefore, adapt a healthy diet. Avoiding consuming processed food products and turn their attention to natural foods. Moreover, the government of Mantia might launch a campaign during this time to encourage the residents to exercise more, establishing sports facilities. Due to the frequent exercise done by Mantia residents, it might be one of the important reasons reducing headaches. Therefore, the author need to provide how the study was conducted whether the habits of the Mantia has changed.
Secondly, does adding salicylates artificially into processed food has the same effect as it contained in natural food? Processed food containing salicylates might have a side effect contrast to natural food with salicylates. Maybe the salicylates added in processed food is concentrated or modified, which might be harmful to human in the long run. Before we can regard they have the same effect to the human body, the author must provide information that adding salicylates is proved unharmed. Also, considering salicylates to have the same effects as aspirin to treat headaches is unreasonable. Being in the same chemical family doesn't mean they can be treated equally. The author must provide more evidence about salicylates whether it can mitigate headaches.
Thirdly, the companies is adding salicylates to more porducts. Therefore, we might need to consider that does human body have a upper limit of consuming salicylates. Once the limit is reached, it may causes different illness other than headaches. Also as salicylates being flavor additives, does it react to certain chemicals in foods or temperature? Before adding too much of salicylates to food, the author must provide evidence of studies to proof.
To conclude, the author should provide the evidence mentioned above the proof his claim.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 355 350
No. of Characters: 1854 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.341 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.223 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.722 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 146 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.905 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.034 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.534 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.127 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 176, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...containing salicylates might have a side effect contrast to natural food with sal...
^^
Line 9, column 634, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...able. Being in the same chemical family doesnt mean they can be treated equally. The a...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 127, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...d to consider that does human body have a upper limit of consuming salicylates. O...
^
Line 13, column 231, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...d, it may causes different illness other than headaches. Also as salicylates bein...
^^
Line 13, column 249, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ifferent illness other than headaches. Also as salicylates being flavor additives, ...
^^^^
Line 13, column 390, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e? Before adding too much of salicylates to food, the author must provide evidenc...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, third, thirdly, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.6327345309 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1920.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 354.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.42372881356 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33761313653 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.814541895 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 178.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.502824858757 0.468620217663 107% => OK
syllable_count: 603.9 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 24.2119327414 57.8364921388 42% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 91.4285714286 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.8571428571 23.324526521 72% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.85714285714 5.70786347227 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.188155494431 0.218282227539 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0612916861114 0.0743258471296 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0505351200804 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0892023781405 0.128457276422 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0617848858308 0.0628817314937 98% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 46.78 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.86 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.