A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
It although sounds convincing that some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future but is just a prediction with no cogent evidence to prove. The article above may show positive results but is nevertheless rife with holes and assumptions made by the author in order to support his or her saying. Some of which are stated below.
First of all, we know that this is study the talks about on headaches suffered by Mentia is a 20 yearlong study. The author yet fails to give some concrete details about it. For starters the sample space of the study is a key detail to be known. The age group that participated is another detail unknown. As a survey in boston showed that people with 60yeaars and more of age tend to suffer frequent headaches due to reasons as small as UV radiation from the sun. Also were the participants same throughout the process as aging also affects the results. Hence the author fails to give details about the people participating in the study.
Furthermore, the author assumes that treatment of headaches for everyone is common, which is use of Salicylates or aspirin which indeed are painkillers. Painkillers affect the nervous system and extensive consumption can lead to problems.
People might also have headaches dur to striking radiation due mobile towers and Sun’s heat in the area of Mentia. Hence the author surprisingly does not notify the reason behind the headache problem of residence of Mentia.
Moreover the author must answer whether the people in the study had a clear medical background. People with long causing migraines tend to complain about headaches too and also have different medication already prescribed other than aspirin/painkillers.
Lastly the prediction made is strongly dependent on the correlation between rise in commercial use of salicylates and steady decline in avarage headaches. But it cannot be trusted as the author does not answer whether the participants used any other treatment, did they consume the commercial products, what does commercial use signify?
The study may sound tempting and show a positive image of the commercial products, but If the answer to these questions tends toward negative response, then the study, the above article and the prediction hold no grounds and is completely irrelevant to the decrease in headaches.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 388 350
No. of Characters: 1937 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.438 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.992 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.638 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.421 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.338 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.684 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.603 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.065 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 465, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... as small as UV radiation from the sun. Also were the participants same throughout t...
^^^^
Line 3, column 555, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...cess as aging also affects the results. Hence the author fails to give details about ...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 116, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...s and Sun’s heat in the area of Mentia. Hence the author surprisingly does not notify...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...che problem of residence of Mentia. Moreover the author must answer whether the peop...
^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 338, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ucts, what does commercial use signify? The study may sound tempting and show a ...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, lastly, may, moreover, nevertheless, so, then, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 15.0 28.8173652695 52% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1991.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 387.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.14470284238 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43534841618 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78485847142 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.545219638243 0.468620217663 116% => OK
syllable_count: 613.8 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.3189550138 57.8364921388 99% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.789473684 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3684210526 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.31578947368 5.70786347227 93% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 5.15768463074 136% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.180605639809 0.218282227539 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0515843495023 0.0743258471296 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0502395729202 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0846753106391 0.128457276422 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0359857647457 0.0628817314937 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.53 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.83 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.