A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The health experts predict that Mentia’s citizens’ headache rate will decrease. To justify their prediction, they use a recently study on the relationship between the headache rate of the residents of Mentia and consuming salicylates. The argument distorts the actual facts and uses some unwarranted assumptions. Therefore, the author should answer to some important questions to evaluate the prediction more accurate.
First of all, the author claims that salicylates are useful to reduce the headaches of the residents of Mentia because salicylates are the member of the same chemical family as aspirin. However, being in a same chemical family is the same as being effective to treat headaches? There are so many similar chemical family members that use in different diseases. There is no guarantee that salicylates can help to reduce headaches. Therefor, answering this question would change the prediction mentioned in the argument.
Moreover, has the twenty-year study examine any side effects for consuming salicylates? Is it safe to eat preserved foods using salicylates? How many doses of salicylates would be safe to consume? The study has not provided any piece of evidence regarding the safety of consuming salicylates. If this chemical is harmful to consume, especially, more than a specific amount, then residents of Mentia would suffer other diseases. Also, are there any other factor which could help reducing the headaches of the residents? Maybe, during these twenty years, the residents’ economical situations have become better, consequently, their stress levels have declined which could help them to suffer headaches less than before. Since, the stressful lifestyle is another reason for the headaches. Hence, answering these questions will evaluate the prediction better.
Finally, did the study conduct under the supervision of the medical experts? Possibly, the food processing companies have conducted this study to convince that their products are useful for the residents of Mentia. Only a commercial purpose behind the study would endanger the residents of Mentia’s health. Without answer to this question, the author cannot validate the prediction.
All in all, the argument, as it stands now, is flawed due to the considerable lack of concrete evidence. The author should answer to the pointed questions to be able to evaluate the prediction mentioned in the argument.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 369 350
No. of Characters: 1979 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.383 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.363 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.693 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 164 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 98 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.865 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.458 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.291 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.291 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.086 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 119, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('recently') instead an adjective, or a noun ('study') instead of another adjective.
.... To justify their prediction, they use a recently study on the relationship between the headach...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 262, Rule ID: ACTUAL_EXPERIENCE[1]
Message: Use simply 'facts'.
Suggestion: facts
... salicylates. The argument distorts the actual facts and uses some unwarranted assumptions. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 478, Rule ID: ADVISE_VBG[5]
Message: The verb 'help' is used with infinitive: 'to reduce' or 'reduce'.
Suggestion: to reduce; reduce
...there any other factor which could help reducing the headaches of the residents? Maybe, ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 220, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e prediction mentioned in the argument.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, finally, first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, regarding, so, then, therefore, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 11.1786427146 18% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2047.0 2260.96107784 91% => OK
No of words: 369.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.54742547425 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38284983912 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85235984727 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 193.0 204.123752495 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.523035230352 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 649.8 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.2140952985 57.8364921388 64% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.2916666667 119.503703932 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.375 23.324526521 66% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.79166666667 5.70786347227 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.376150050466 0.218282227539 172% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0984345213581 0.0743258471296 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.10310396465 0.0701772020484 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.189191883775 0.128457276422 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.13449076572 0.0628817314937 214% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.3799401198 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 39.33 48.3550499002 81% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.32 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.62 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.