"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The director of student housing at Buckingham College proposed that college should build a number of new dormitories to accommodate the future need and also to attract prospective students. While he makes a compelling argument, there are certainly some gaps in the argument that needs to be fulfilled.
Primarily, if the number of students increases and the college starts providing options of room-sharing, then it could positively help the students. If the college doesn't increase the cost of the room and provide an option of room sharing, then the students can split the rent which would decrease the financial burden on them as vocational education is already very expensive in the United States.
The director of student housing claimed that average rent for an apartment has risen in recent years. But is fails take into account the fact there may be a pay increase as well for the students doing part time jobs in the university or outside the university. If it is the case, then the students doing part-time jobs may prefer an apartment in the town with better facilities and more privacy.
Also , the director of student housing mentioned that attractive new dormitories would make perspective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham. It fails to take into account the other factor that may attract perspective students more than building new dormitories like improved course structure, better research opportunities, students grants and scholarships. There may be a possibility that better research opportunities and more scholarships would increase the enrolment by a greater scale than creating new dormitories. If this is the case, then college should spend money on providing better research opportunities and more scholarships rather than creating new dormitories.
At last, creating new dormitories may also produce the desired result if all the factors are assessed correctly. For this to happen, the director of student housing needs to evaluate the above mentioned factors and then reach to an appropriate conclusion.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 324 350
No. of Characters: 1691 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.243 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.219 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.822 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 106 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.923 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.855 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.923 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.396 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.681 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.171 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 165, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ively help the students. If the college doesnt increase the cost of the room and provi...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 202, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...increase as well for the students doing part time jobs in the university or outside the u...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 5, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ter facilities and more privacy. Also , the director of student housing mention...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, so, then, well, while
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 13.6137724551 51% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 13.0 28.8173652695 45% => OK
Preposition: 34.0 55.5748502994 61% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1731.0 2260.96107784 77% => OK
No of words: 323.0 441.139720559 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.35913312693 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23936324884 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91078510777 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 204.123752495 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.498452012384 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 531.0 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 40.3424688498 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.153846154 119.503703932 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.8461538462 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.15384615385 5.70786347227 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 6.88822355289 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.218634605247 0.218282227539 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0907771250073 0.0743258471296 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0876644600166 0.0701772020484 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129993487624 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0847378750239 0.0628817314937 135% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.1 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.54 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 98.500998004 77% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.