The following appeared in a memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College.
"To serve the housing needs of our students, Buckingham College should build a number of new dormitories. Buckingham's enrollment is growing and, based on current trends, will double over the next 50 years, thus making existing dormitory space inadequate. Moreover, the average rent for an apartment in our town has risen in recent years. Consequently, students will find it increasingly difficult to afford off-campus housing. Finally, attractive new dormitories would make prospective students more likely to enroll at Buckingham."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The memo from the director of student housing at Buckingham College included a suggestion to build a number of new dormitories for students. The reasons listed in the memo included number of increasing enrollment, new dormitories would act as a unique selling point for prospective students and expensive off-campus housing. However, there is a need of a number of evidences to evaluate whether or not the recommendation should be considered.
To begin with, the director of student housing should provide a detailed record of the recent years of how the existing dormitory space is inadequate. For instance, if there have been a certain number of students who could not find a room for their own in the dormitory in the recent years. What is the number of such students and is it growing year by year? Is there some other reason why the students have found it difficult to find a room in the dormitory. There might be some ongoing construction work which would decrease the number of available rooms for students in the dormitory.
Secondly, rent prices have always tend to increase in recent years. If the director could provide the detailed cost difference between an apartment rent and the dormitory costs, it would be really helpful to analyse and make further decision.
Also, is there any evidence that the prospective students would find new dormitories as a reason to enroll at the Buckingham college? Is there any student reviews or feedback regarding the need of new student dormitories?
Finally, there is a need some evidence which would help to strengthen the recommendation of the director of student housing at the Buckingham College. A detailed student review or feedback where majority of the students agree to the fact that the college needs a number of new dormitory would be really helpful in making any further decision.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 307 350
No. of Characters: 1510 1500
No. of Different Words: 135 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.186 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.919 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.729 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.929 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.898 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.397 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.651 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 145, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ber of new dormitories for students. The reasons listed in the memo included numb...
^^
Line 1, column 389, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...ed of a number of evidences to evaluate whether or not the recommendation should be considered...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 35, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'tended'.
Suggestion: tended
.... Secondly, rent prices have always tend to increase in recent years. If the dir...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, however, if, really, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, for instance, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 6.0 28.8173652695 21% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1548.0 2260.96107784 68% => OK
No of words: 307.0 441.139720559 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.04234527687 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18585898806 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80354050474 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 135.0 204.123752495 66% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.439739413681 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 482.4 705.55239521 68% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 38.1963242168 57.8364921388 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.571428571 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9285714286 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.28571428571 5.70786347227 128% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.401131747007 0.218282227539 184% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.160398928121 0.0743258471296 216% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.13550994844 0.0701772020484 193% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.248747805563 0.128457276422 194% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.13018118279 0.0628817314937 207% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.66 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 58.0 98.500998004 59% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.