Recently the number of teenagers taking part in community service by engaging with charitable organizations has significantly declined. Regarding this issue the author concludes that highschool students should be required to partake in community service and complete 40 hours of community service before graduation. The aforementioned argument lacks validity, due to lack of relevant evidence, unaddressed assumptions, weak statistics, and un-evidential correlations the author’s argument is unsubstantial and deeply flawed.
To support the conclusion the author argues that “requiring” students to partake in community service will teach them to give back to the community. Does it always teach students to give back to the community? The author only assumes that students who take part in community service will learn to give back to the community. However, it might be that students may not learn anything. For example, some federal prisoners who are given community service do not learn to give back. Also, the students who are part of the work force due to their family situation, working in restaurant and supermarkets, are already giving back by creating a smoother customer experience for the community.
The author’s weak assumption isn’t the only thing that makes their conclusion flawed, the use of weak statistical evidence also plays a role. The author states that the “number of teenage volunteers has significantly decreased.” While the number of teenagers who are volunteering might have decreased the author does not to compare the total population of teenagers in that year against those who volunteered. It may be that finding statistical information about number of total teenagers in Pleasantville, number of working teenagers and number of volunteering teenagers could show a different perspective of the argument as the number of teenagers per year could be steady, but the number of working teenagers might have increased through the years.
To support their conclusion the author correlates the “great need for volunteers” with the significant decrease in number of teenage volunteers. The weak correlation has no evidence that due to lack of teenage volunteers there is a need for volunteers. The author forgets that there might be volunteers of other age groups helping out as well which would lead to a surplus of volunteers. This could occur especially if the majority population of the town is not teenagers but middle-aged or retired seniors.
Despite the weak evidence, and assumptions used one cannot deny that, with proper evidence, the author’s argument may hold some merit. If the author were to present evidence that population of teenagers has been steady along with population of working teenagers, then it would support the author’s argument that number of teenagers volunteering has diminished significantly throughout the years this would help the author’s conclusion gain some integrity.
The presented argument by the author lacks strong evidence and uses assumptions which lead to the conclusion being unsubstantial. However, with proper evidence like polls, statistical figures the author might be able to work and help their conclusion gain some integrity.
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 494 350
No. of Characters: 2660 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.714 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.385 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.908 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 201 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 163 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 127 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 89 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.524 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.238 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.367 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.191 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 230, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...olunteers has significantly decreased.” While the number of teenagers who are volunte...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, regarding, so, then, well, while, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 55.5748502994 119% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 16.3942115768 146% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2748.0 2260.96107784 122% => OK
No of words: 493.0 441.139720559 112% => OK
Chars per words: 5.57403651116 5.12650576532 109% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.71206996034 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.06804368459 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 209.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.423935091278 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 836.1 705.55239521 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 74.8172941238 57.8364921388 129% => OK
Chars per sentence: 137.4 119.503703932 115% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.65 23.324526521 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.7 5.70786347227 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.286686637136 0.218282227539 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.098576588372 0.0743258471296 133% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.112023633608 0.0701772020484 160% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.148606945148 0.128457276422 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0977503995179 0.0628817314937 155% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.1 14.3799401198 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.32 12.5979740519 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.06 8.32208582834 97% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 12.3882235529 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.