In surveys Mason City residents rank water sports (swimming, boating, and fishing) among their favorite
recreational activities. The Mason River flowing through the city is rarely used for these pursuits,
however, and the city park department devotes little of its budget to maintaining riverside recreational
facilities. For years there have been complaints from residents about the quality of the river's water and
the river's smell.
The author concludes the city government should prepare more budget for the Mason River. The passage suggests that by seeing a survey that indicates the favorites of activities for the people of Mason and predicting what happens if the Mason River be clean. At first glance, the statement seems to be strong enough to persuade us to accept to devote more fund for Mason River but when we revise it, deeply, there is some unstated assumption which needs to answer.
To begin with, the passage asserts in a survey water sport are among the favorite activity for the people of Mason. But, we should consider the word favorite is obscured here. Perhaps water sports are favorite but after other sports which have a lot of fans in the town. Or we should regard, maybe someone is a fan of soccer and water sports but if he has to choose, he chooses soccer. As a result, because the survey is not complete and has a flaw in it, it is not reliable and the conclusion has a problem.
Furthermore, the author expresses the government should spend money to improve the quality of the river flowing through the city. If the problems of the river start in another city, the money which is spent to improve the condition of the river will not affect the city. At first, we need to survey the location of the problem and then try to solve that. Sometimes, the quality of the water is not good for some sport like swimming and makes a lot of problems for those who use the river. As a consequence, there is a real important issue in not regarding the condition of the river and there is a flaw.
Last but not least, the author never mentions the size of the river and just suggests using the river for water sport. Surely, if the size of the river be too small or the river is too deep, the people trying to use the river for their filed have a real a bad problem. It is true. Sometimes they can solve this problem by changing the material they used but this solution is not always useful. Hence, there is another problem in this proposal which makes it more weaken.
In conclusion, I do believe the passage has a lot of problems in not stating in some assumptions. Since it speaks about a survey without regarding everything in it and also not speaking about the quality and the size of the river.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 420 350
No. of Characters: 1820 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.527 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.333 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.231 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.517 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.9 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.32 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.135 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 471, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...his proposal which makes it more weaken. In conclusion, I do believe the passage ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, may, regarding, so, then, as to, in conclusion, speaking about, as a result, it is true, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 53.0 55.5748502994 95% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1877.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 420.0 441.139720559 95% => OK
Chars per words: 4.46904761905 5.12650576532 87% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.33580408545 2.78398813304 84% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.442857142857 0.468620217663 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 593.1 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.2027818069 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.7894736842 119.503703932 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1052631579 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.57894736842 5.70786347227 133% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.237603308899 0.218282227539 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0739021076702 0.0743258471296 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0643268357651 0.0701772020484 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124674539155 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0585304203301 0.0628817314937 93% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.7 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 66.07 48.3550499002 137% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.65 12.5979740519 69% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.25 8.32208582834 87% => OK
difficult_words: 67.0 98.500998004 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.