There is now evidence that the relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity than does the hectic pace of life in big cities. Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton. Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents. These findings suggest that the relaxed pace of life in Leeville allows residents to live longer, healthier lives.
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author claims here that relaxed pace of life in small towns promotes better health and greater longevity compare to hectic peace in city life. Stated in this way, the argument revels several instances of poor reasoning and ill-defined terminology. To justify this conclusion, the author notes here comparison between life of workers of small town Leeville and the large city Masonton. However, careful scrutiny of the evidence revels that it provides little credible support for the author's conclusion. Hence, there are other explanations possible that will undermine the author's conclusion.
First of all, author readily assume that by comparing the fact that workers in Leeville town took fewer sick leaves than workers of city Masonton and ratio of physicians to residence is five times in city as compare to town will provide evidence for his first claim. This is merely an assumption made without much solid ground. For example, the workers author is comparing might be from different industry having different sick leave rule. Like worker in village might be having less leaves as compare to worker in city. Also, the other factor in good health of town workers might be the food and fresh air they are having but not the relaxed peace. And there is explanation for the ratio difference of residence to doctor in town and city. The doctor in town might be getting more money as compare to doctor in town from their service. So, more doctors want to stay in city and some altruistic doctor go to serve people of Leeville. It is also possible that there are more number of facilities in city, so that more doctor might want to stay in city. So there is ratio difference present between residence to doctor in town and city.
The argument readily cites that average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher that of city, so it suggest that relaxed life of town is allowing its people to live longer. This again is a weak and unsupported claim as it does not demonstrate any clear correlation between the high average age of residence of town to the releaxed peace of life in town. The higher average age doesn't state the longevity. The less average age means that there are younger people. Consider example, there are two towns X and Y both having 10 people in it. Now, X has all adults and their age is in range of 30 to 70. So average age of residence of X is in between 30 and 70. Now, town Y has 5 children and 5 adults having age range of 5 to 30. It can be said that average will be in range 5 to 30. So definitely, the average age of town X is greater than average are of Y. So, form this example we can’t constitute the longevity of any town of residence.
In conclusion, the author’s argument is unpersuasive as it stands. The evidence provide by author is not stonge and moreover one can give lot of alternate explanations for given evidence.
as compare to
as compared to
Sentence: This again is a weak and unsupported claim as it does not demonstrate any clear correlation between the high average age of residence of town to the releaxed peace of life in town.
Error: releaxed Suggestion: released
Sentence: The evidence provide by author is not stonge and moreover one can give lot of alternate explanations for given evidence.
Error: stonge Suggestion: sponge
flaws:
1. Content is not well organized.
Need to analyze the structure of the statement and argue accordingly:
condition 1:
Businesses in the small town of Leeville report fewer days of sick leave taken by individual workers than do businesses in the nearby large city of Masonton.
condition 2:
Furthermore, Leeville has only one physician for its one thousand residents, but in Masonton the proportion of physicians to residents is five times as high. Finally, the average age of Leeville residents is significantly higher than that of Masonton residents.
conclusion:
These findings suggest that the relaxed pace of life in Leeville allows residents to live longer, healthier lives.
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2. The example is too long:
Consider example, there are two towns X and Y both having 10 people in it. Now, X has all adults and their age is in range of 30 to 70. So average age of residence of X is in between 30 and 70. Now, town Y has 5 children and 5 adults having age range of 5 to 30. It can be said that average will be in range 5 to 30. So definitely, the average age of town X is greater than average are of Y.
One sentence may be enough, like: A lot of retired people may have moved to Leeville.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 508 350
No. of Characters: 2319 1500
No. of Different Words: 203 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.748 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.565 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.458 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 161 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.815 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.393 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.481 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.297 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.479 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.135 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5