"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."
The author concludes that by building a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View, they could improve Hopewell's economy and generate additional tax revenues. This conclusion was based on the fact that similar changes in Ocean View city have led to an increase in tourism, business ventures, and a rise of tac revenues by 30 percent. Although the cited pieces of evidence seem logical and probable, the conclusion relies on some doubtful assumptions that do not lend credible support for the argument. Hence, the argument seems logically unconvincing in several aspects.
Firstly, the author assumes that the introduction of a new golf course and resort that was done two years ago would bring in similar effects, two years later as well. Perhaps, two years ago there were no golf course and resorts present in the city, and therefore the introduction of these new facilities have attracted a large number of tourists. But in today's scenario, possibly there are a large number of resorts and golf courses available and hence these facilities have become commonplace. Therefore, to attract tourists, the city must have many other facilities in addition to resorts and golf courses. If the above-stated assumption is true, then the argument seems misleading.
In addition to this, the author assumes that the increase in tourism or the number of business ventures in Ocean City could be attributed to the introduction of a golf course and resort hotel. But, the author fails to acknowledge any other factors that could be responsible for the increase in tourism. Perhaps, the city would have amazing theme parks or national parks that are highly known for their amazing rides or adventurous activities. Thus, the tourists might be attracted to these places instead of the resorts or golf courses. Further, the increase of business ventures could be attributed to the availability of many startup facilities such as good places to start the business or a large customer base. If either of the scenarios is true, then the conclusion of the argument would be weakened.
Finally, the author assumes that both the cities (Oceanview and Hopewell) are comparable. Perhaps, the Ocean View city is located close to any river or ocean, and thus it can be complementary to the presence of a resort or golf coast. Therefore, the resorts can have additional facilities such as a sea view or pleasant weather. The Hopewell city might be located in a more deserted region and thus the implementation of such facilities won't have a similar effect as that of the resorts present in Ocean View City. If this is true, then implementing similar facilities in Hopewell city would not ensure the increase in economy as well as the number of tourists or business ventures.
To sum up, the argument consists of some obvious fallacies and loopholes. To strengthen the argument, the author should have provided additional information such as the other factors that could be responsible for the increase in the number of tourists and business ventures in Ocean View city. Also, he could have provided information about the differences in location of both the type of cities and the impact of introducing these new facilities. But in the absence of this data, the argument relies on some doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 553 350
No. of Characters: 2733 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.849 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.942 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.689 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 162 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 111 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.042 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.818 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.506 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.094 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 163, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[3]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...in the similar effects, two years later as well. Perhaps, two years ago there were...
^^
Line 3, column 244, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...e no golf course and resorts present in the the city, and therefore the introduction of...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 244, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...e no golf course and resorts present in the the city, and therefore the introduction of...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 397, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
... in todays scenario, possibly there are a large number of resorts and golf courses available and ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 660, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...If the above stated assumption is true, the the argument seems misleading. In additi...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 660, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...If the above stated assumption is true, the the argument seems misleading. In additi...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 690, Rule ID: LARGE_NUMBER_OF[1]
Message: Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use 'many' or 'numerous'
Suggestion: many; numerous
... as good place to start the business or a large number of customer base. If either of the scenari...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 295, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...d business ventures in Ocean View city. Also he could have provided information abou...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, so, then, therefore, thus, well, in addition, such as, as well as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.6327345309 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 28.0 11.1786427146 250% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2811.0 2260.96107784 124% => OK
No of words: 558.0 441.139720559 126% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0376344086 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.86024933743 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71097437718 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 221.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.39605734767 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 891.9 705.55239521 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 18.0 8.76447105788 205% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.6801625137 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.125 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.25 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.125 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.338603552508 0.218282227539 155% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100185379299 0.0743258471296 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0879213757279 0.0701772020484 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.197634136725 0.128457276422 154% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0578099608937 0.0628817314937 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.25 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 98.500998004 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.