The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.
“Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View’s tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell’s economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View.”
The mayor of Hopewell utilizes this memo to recommend that building a golf course and resort hotel is the best possible way for improving Hopewell’s economy. He supports this recommendation by citing the example of the town of Ocean View which had built a golf course and resort hotel two years ago. Since then, Ocean View has seen an increase in tourism and establishment of new businesses in addition to generation of added tax revenues. The argument is unconvincing in several respects as the arguer fails to establish a direct link between the economies of the two towns which are being compared.
Let us first take a look at the economic progress made by the town of Ocean View as outlined by the arguer. The argument makes no mention of the status of the economy of Ocean View prior to the establishment of the golf course and the resort hotel. It is quite possible that Ocean View was already on the path to progress much before the golf course and resort hotel were built. Moreover, the arguer has failed to provide information related to tourism in Ocean View. It is likely that Ocean View boasts of numerous tourist spots and beautiful locales. Additionally, the weather in Ocean View may be pleasant throughout the year. It is likely that Ocean View has invested time, effort and money in an extensive publicity campaign for its tourism department. One cannot ignore the fact that Ocean View may be having many other resorts and hotels and so there is no dearth of accommodation for tourists at any time of the year.
All the above mentioned factors would significantly contribute to the fact that the town of Ocean View is experiencing an increase in tourism and establishment of new businesses. It is quite possible that these factors were in force much before the construction of the new golf course and resort hotel. It is likely that the new businesses that are opening in Ocean View are not linked to the golf course or the resort hotel in any way whatsoever. Therefore, the assumption that the tourism and economy of the town of Ocean View has benefited only from the construction of the new golf course and resort hotel is completely unwarranted. As the reason for the improved economy in Ocean View is questionable, linking this improvement to establishing a similar golf course and resort hotel in Hopewell for improving its economy is highly unjustified.
The arguer has ignored the fact that the commercialization of a tourist location may result in diminished tourism as the place will lose its idyllic charm. Therefore, it is quite possible that the establishment of these new businesses may actually bring down the town’s economy in the long run. Moreover, the arguer does not address any other reasons, like an increase in tax rates, for the increase in tax revenues in Ocean View.
Another major lacuna in the argument is that if indeed the establishment of the golf course and resort hotel is solely responsible for the economic progress of Ocean View, it is not necessary that following in the footsteps of Ocean View would generate the same results for Hopewell also. It is likely that the town of Hopewell neither has the financial support nor the space for the establishment of a golf course and resort hotel. There may be other geographical and demographical differences between these two towns and therefore, what proved to be beneficial for Ocean View may not be the same for Hopewell too.
To bolster the recommendation, the argument should have included evidence that proved the link between Ocean View’s golf course, the resort hotel and Ocean View’s economic progress during the last two years. Moreover, there is a requirement of evidence that proves that carrying out a similar action in Hopewell will have the same results. In sum, the arguer’s recommendation is inadequately supported due to lack of concrete evidence.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 655 350
No. of Characters: 3161 1500
No. of Different Words: 245 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.059 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.826 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.722 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 216 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 156 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 114 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.192 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.364 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.462 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.372 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 9, column 284, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
... generate the same results for Hopewell also. It is likely that the town of Hopewell...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, look, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, well, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.6327345309 158% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 11.1786427146 188% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 55.5748502994 146% => OK
Nominalization: 29.0 16.3942115768 177% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3233.0 2260.96107784 143% => OK
No of words: 655.0 441.139720559 148% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.9358778626 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.05894927669 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79643483435 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 252.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.384732824427 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1025.1 705.55239521 145% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.3277198327 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.346153846 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.1923076923 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.5 5.70786347227 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.516932529986 0.218282227539 237% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.168066431862 0.0743258471296 226% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0918462581936 0.0701772020484 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.297526016319 0.128457276422 232% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.101665662706 0.0628817314937 162% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.84 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 98.500998004 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.