The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.
“Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View’s tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell’s economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View.”
The mayor of town Hopewell utilizes the memo to recommend that building a golf course and resort hotel is the best possible way for Hopewell town to increase its economy. He supports his proposal by citing the example of town of Ocean View which had built a golf course and resort hotel two years ago. Since then, Ocean View has seen an increase in tourism and establishment of new businesses in addition to generation of added tax revenues. Although, the argument seems convincing at first sight but on further analysis, the argument is found to rife with holes and assumptions, and thus not strong enough to bring about the desired change as intended in the argument.
Firstly, the author mentioned that due to golf course and resort hotel built two years ago, the tourism and revenue increased in Ocean View and if Hopewell does the same it will bring about the same change as it did in Ocean View, is completely flawed. The author didn’t mention the location of Ocean View and its nearby town or of town of Hopewell. It might be possible that Ocean View is a hill station or a coastal town due to which tourists flock over there. The author has also mentioned that Ocean View built a resort hotel two years ago, so it might also be possible that before two years there were no places to accommodate large amount of tourists visiting Ocean View and so they went to other places, but now due to building of resort hotel they are able to stay in Ocean View for longer amount of time and in turn contribute positively to its economy.
Additionally, the author mentions that new business have opened in Ocean View due to which there have been 30 percent increase in tax revenues. However, the author didn’t mention why new businesses have opened in Ocean View. It may be possible that recently Ocean View increased its taxes and as taxes have increased, it will in turn generate more revenue for the town of Ocean View. Also, it is definitely possible that some multinational company might have opened its office in Ocean View, employing thousands of its residents and while providing salaries to them, company provide heavy amount of taxes to the government.
Finally, author considered that development of golf course and resort will increase Hopewell’s tax revenue and economy, however, author did not provide any evidence which certify that Hopewell is the only one who will make this golf course and resort. It is possible that nearby Hopewell there are already other towns who already have resorts, golf course, amusement parks, industries etc. If such type of towns are located then it is difficult for Hopewell to improve its economy because it is obvious that people or tourist will always attract more towards facilities, enjoyment etc. and if other nearby towns provide better facilities than Hopewell then these towns will prove to be challenging competitors for Hopewell.
Thus, in conclusion, the argument as it stands is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to rectify the above mentioned three flaws, and provide more evidence, then it is possibly to fully evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendation.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 544 350
No. of Characters: 2598 1500
No. of Different Words: 223 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.829 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.776 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.453 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 177 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 91 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 34 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.407 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.688 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.396 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.631 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.179 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, so, then, thus, well, while, in addition, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 11.1786427146 206% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 60.0 55.5748502994 108% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2666.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 542.0 441.139720559 123% => OK
Chars per words: 4.91881918819 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82502781895 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54005104587 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 204.123752495 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.433579335793 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 847.8 705.55239521 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 73.7703309495 57.8364921388 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 148.111111111 119.503703932 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.1111111111 23.324526521 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.05555555556 5.70786347227 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.469651200003 0.218282227539 215% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.168056953312 0.0743258471296 226% => Sentence topic similarity is high.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.118111402846 0.0701772020484 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.254674273883 0.128457276422 198% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.159011157876 0.0628817314937 253% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.8 14.3799401198 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.03 48.3550499002 85% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.85 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.13 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.