The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.
"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
In a recent recommendation to the president, the vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries maintained that implementation of electronic monitoring device can restrict employers from wasting time and this will help to improve overall profits of the company. He asserted the statement based on the incomplete evidences and the assumptions are unwarranted. Therefore, further evidences are required before analyzing the viability of the contention.
The vice president believes that the unproductivity of the company is merely due to employers’ unnecessary use of internet. However, he provides no buttress to support the claim and also didn’t mention anything about other possible causes of the decrease of the company’s profit. For instance, it might be possible that the company’s lack of productivity is due to the use of old equipment, or it might be due to the lack of skilled workers. If any of these have merit then the argument is significantly weakened.
Similarly, is electronic monitoring best option? In other words, there might be other possible measures to increase the company’s revenue- like giving incentives to workers and also encouraging the employers by providing prizes. Moreover, the companies might include other programs that can enhance the capability of the employers rather than punishing for low efficiency. So, other possibilities needs to be considered before prior to the conclusion.
Furthermore, he assumes that the workers use the internet in the company’s computers only; what about the cell phones? Everybody use cell phones nowadays. If this is the case then using electronic monitoring device to control the employers is futile. Also, he believes that the workers can only waste time on online and didn’t mention anything about the type of the company. This information is essential before we can check the possibilities of the vice president’s assertion.
In sum, the argument as a whole makes several groundless assumptions and the evidence provided are inadequate. Therefore, aforementioned information is necessary to check whether the claim to use electronic monitoring device is suitable or not.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 334 350
No. of Characters: 1782 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.275 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.335 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.049 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.556 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.434 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.314 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.314 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 442, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... be due to the lack of skilled workers. If any of these have merit then the argume...
^^
Line 3, column 26, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'monitoring the best'.
Suggestion: monitoring the best
...tly weakened. Similarly, is electronic monitoring best option? In other words, there might be ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 155, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...es? Everybody use cell phones nowadays. If this is the case then using electronic ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, however, if, moreover, similarly, so, then, therefore, for instance, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1844.0 2260.96107784 82% => OK
No of words: 332.0 441.139720559 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.55421686747 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.2685907696 4.56307096286 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.18259916365 2.78398813304 114% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.521084337349 0.468620217663 111% => OK
syllable_count: 597.6 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59920159681 113% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 52.4955024529 57.8364921388 91% => OK
Chars per sentence: 102.444444444 119.503703932 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.4444444444 23.324526521 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.94444444444 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.209450229544 0.218282227539 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0621384644027 0.0743258471296 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0782285813649 0.0701772020484 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114345220426 0.128457276422 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0641846992024 0.0628817314937 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.28 48.3550499002 75% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.91 12.5979740519 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.43 8.32208582834 113% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.