The vice president for human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president."In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from thei

The argument here presented by vice president of Climpson Industries states that the company should implement electronic monitoring of employees’ internet use from their workstations. This argument fails to maintain several key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated. To satisfy this conclusion, the vice president season is that software installation on company computers will prevent employees from wasting time on the job. However, careful; scrutiny reveals that it provides little justification to the author’s conclusion. Hence, the argument presented here is considered incomplete or unsubstantiated.

First of all, the argument readily assumes that employees who use internet inappropriately on workstation need to be identified and punished for reducing work hour of company. This is merely and the assumption made without solid ground. The argument does not provide the trend of using internet for recreational activities by employees in the workstation. There is a possibility that the employees are using the internet for their immediate uses like paying the electricity bill, online transaction from their bank account etc. There is also the possibility that they are using the internet to see some international news to become up-to-date and to become fresh from long hour official work on the computer. However, the argument would have been better if it provides the tendency and train of using internet by employees besides the work of the company.

Secondly, the vice president argues here that the employees who are using internet other than office work should be identified and punished. This again is a weak analogy used by the argument and it does not demonstrate the clear correlation between the punishment on employees and improvement of the company. He fails to explain that what kinds of punishment would give to those employees. He also fails to calculate what negative consequences might arise after punishing the employees. One possibility is that the employees may protest against the company management. Another possibility is that this tighten rule and law may diminish the dignity of the employees.

Moreover, the argument states that software installation on company computers will prevent employees from wasting time on the job. However, careful judgment of depiction reveals that it provides little support for the vice president’s recommendation in various critical aspects and raises some skeptical questions. For example, what is the reliability of the source that the employees are using the internet for recreation activities? If they are spending little time from a long working hour for refreshment, is it necessary to tighten and punished them? How much it will cost to install that software on company computers to monitor the employees? Is it affordable? Is there any guarantee that this provision will not deteriorate the dignity of employees? What the president does not have to think properly about the proposal of the vice president, whether he is buttressed by some interest group or not? Without convincing to these questions, the reader is left with an impression that the vice president’s argument is more of a wishful thinking rather than substantive evidence.

In sum, the argument is unpersuasive as it stands. To bolster it further, the vice president should provide clear and concrete information about the tendency and train of using internet by employees besides the work of the company. The information of affordability and suitability of new software system to monitor employees would also help to strengthen the argument.

Votes
Average: 3.5 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, second, secondly, so, then, for example, first of all

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 19.0 13.6137724551 140% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 55.5748502994 135% => OK
Nominalization: 32.0 16.3942115768 195% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3071.0 2260.96107784 136% => OK
No of words: 561.0 441.139720559 127% => OK
Chars per words: 5.47415329768 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.86676880123 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.07028980773 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 204.123752495 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.434937611408 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 954.9 705.55239521 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.9700389095 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.896551724 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3448275862 23.324526521 83% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.96551724138 5.70786347227 69% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 16.0 6.88822355289 232% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.319279536983 0.218282227539 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0838405431939 0.0743258471296 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0860209796853 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.188357368989 0.128457276422 147% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0715424394358 0.0628817314937 114% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 48.3550499002 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.45 12.5979740519 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 131.0 98.500998004 133% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

argument 1 -- not OK

argument 2 -- not OK

argument 3 -- OK
----------------
the second argument is about:
It will foster a better work ethic at Climpson

the third argument is about:
and improve our overall profits.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 561 350
No. of Characters: 2988 1500
No. of Different Words: 242 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.867 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.326 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.91 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 225 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 201 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 147 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 95 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.036 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.814 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.536 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.465 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5