“We are very pleased to announce the relocation of our inventory, which had been located in four different warehouses throughout the country, to a single new warehouse near Company headquarters in Boston. This consolidated location will cut the company’s expenses for warehouse rent in half. As a result we expect our monthly profitability to go up by this amount.”
the author of the passage has come to the conclusion that consolidating the company's stock into one large warehouse will cut rent in half and this will in turn lead to profits of the same amount. On first inspection the premise of the argument seems logical but the author has failed to take in other factors and has not provided several pieces of evidence and has therefore reached a flawed conclusion.
the first major flaw is that the author has not incuded any time frame in his prediction, there maybe very high costs invlved in the move and the author has not presented any information regarding what cost would be invlved, when the costs would be invloved . The author also has not taken into account the cost of the move. Even though rent may be cut in half, if the inventory is very large the cost of moving everything to one wharehouse maybe exceptionally high and therefore cut into any profits the company may make by the reduction in rent.The author has not also taken into account the where the company's retail or customers are located. Even though there is a cut in rent there may be even more cost involved in transporting the inventory to their retail shops or customers and this issue may as well cut into any profits made from the cut in rent. the author has also assumed that the move will be done all at once and there will be no overlap and no need to continue renting any of the other wharehouses while the move is going on. if the inventory is very large any over lap and continued occupancy of the other wharehouses will eat into their profits
The author has also made assumptions that there will be no other costs involved during the move or after the move. they may have to pay out redundancy to a considerable number of staff that may have to be laid off from the old wharehouses. The rent in the new wharehouse may go up. The cost of hiring employees in Boston may be higher. there maybe additional corporate taxes for wharehouses operating in Boston. All these assumptions make the argument as a whole weaker. With out resolving these flaws or additional information it is very possible that the company may make an initial lose during the move
To evaluate the conclusion it would be helpful to analyse several pieces of information. The authour would need a detailed costs of the move, how much redundancy would need to be paid to staff, weather rent in Boston will go up in the immediate future of if there has being a recent upward trend in rent and the average wage of staff. if costs can be kept down , there are very low redundancies are kept low and there is minimal cost in transporting the goods, considering there may be a much smaller work force in one wharehouse, profits may even exceed the authors projections
Sentence: the first major flaw is that the author has not incuded any time frame in his prediction, there maybe very high costs invlved in the move and the author has not presented any information regarding what cost would be invlved, when the costs would be invloved .
Error: invloved Suggestion: involved
Error: incuded Suggestion: included
Error: invlved Suggestion: involved
Sentence: Even though rent may be cut in half, if the inventory is very large the cost of moving everything to one wharehouse maybe exceptionally high and therefore cut into any profits the company may make by the reduction in rent.
Error: wharehouse Suggestion: warehouse
and there will be no overlap and no need to continue renting any of the other wharehouses while the move is going on. if the inventory is very large any over lap and continued occupancy of the other wharehouses will eat
Error: wharehouses Suggestion: warehouses
Sentence: The author has also made assumptions that there will be no other costs involved during the move or after the move. they may have to pay out redundancy to a considerable number of staff that may have to be laid off from the old wharehouses.
Error: may Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: wharehouses Suggestion: warehouses
Sentence: The rent in the new wharehouse may go up.
Error: wharehouse Suggestion: warehouse
Sentence: The cost of hiring employees in Boston may be higher. there maybe additional corporate taxes for wharehouses operating in Boston.
Error: wharehouses Suggestion: warehouses
Sentence: To evaluate the conclusion it would be helpful to analyse several pieces of information.
Error: analyse Suggestion: analyze
Sentence: The authour would need a detailed costs of the move, how much redundancy would need to be paid to staff, weather rent in Boston will go up in the immediate future of if there has being a recent upward trend in rent and the average wage of staff. if costs can be kept down , there are very low redundancies are kept low and there is minimal cost in transporting the goods, considering there may be a much smaller work force in one wharehouse, profits may even exceed the authors projections
Error: authour Suggestion: author
Error: wharehouse Suggestion: warehouse
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
Don't put a space before punctuation marks.
Always put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Always capitalize the first letter of a sentence.
Also remove some duplicate words or sentences.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 11 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 497 350
No. of Characters: 2233 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.722 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.493 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.453 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.116 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.714 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.377 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.565 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.128 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5