Americans spend far too much of their time buying and consuming non-essential goods. Studies show that, on average Americans spend over a quarter of their leisure time shopping. As such, it is no secret why America is losing its competitive edge relative to other countries. Instead of spending their time productively, Americans are wasting time through frivolous consumption. In order to counteract this trend, Americans should spend more time focused on personal and communal development--by, for example, pursuing educational advancement or participating in volunteer opportunities."
The author of the editorial has come to the conclusion that Americans need to spend more time focusing on personal and communal development instead of wasting time on frivolous spending as this spending has led to America losing its competitive edge. The authors arument is extremely flawed as the argument relies on several far fetched assumptions and provides no real data to strength his or her point. it would be best to examine these assumptions to better evaluate the authors argument
The first flaw with the editorial is that the author has assumed that shopping can not add a competitive edge, neither does the author mention what that competitive egde is. Consumers spending large somes of money in retail stores helps provide much needed revenue to business owners who are then able to potentially expand their business and hire more staff. this spending can actually led to a better economy and can be a signal for an economy that is doing well. With out any data on how much consumers spend in retail shops and how much the retailers benefit from the spending, it would be very hard to strength the argument
The author has also made the assumption that the quarter of the leisure time spent on shopping consists of mostly of non essential goods and has not given any data of how much leisure time consumers actually have. If consumers only had an average of two hours leisure time a week and only a quarter of that time was spent shopping , it would not amount to much time. The rest of this time could easily be spent on the personal and communal develpoment that the author calls for. it could be the case that the majority of people are already spending their time on the communal and pursuing educational advancment and participating in volunter activities at a high level but these actions have had no effect on Americas competitiveness and there could be a variety of other reasons for Americas lack of competitive edge.
As previously mentioned the author argument will remained flawed if he or she does not provide any relevant information such as the current state of the economy, what countries America is losing its competitive egde to and how, how much leisure time is actually spent shopping and what consumers are buying. If this data was presented and the assumptions properly evaluated the data could possibly even strength the authors conclusion.
Sentence: The authors arument is extremely flawed as the argument relies on several far fetched assumptions and provides no real data to strength his or her point. it would be best to examine these assumptions to better evaluate the authors argument
Error: arument Suggestion: argument
Sentence: The first flaw with the editorial is that the author has assumed that shopping can not add a competitive edge, neither does the author mention what that competitive egde is.
Error: egde Suggestion: edge
Sentence: Consumers spending large somes of money in retail stores helps provide much needed revenue to business owners who are then able to potentially expand their business and hire more staff. this spending can actually led to a better economy and can be a signal for an economy that is doing well.
Error: somes Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: The rest of this time could easily be spent on the personal and communal develpoment that the author calls for. it could be the case that the majority of people are already spending their time on the communal and pursuing educational advancment and participating in volunter activities at a high level but these actions have had no effect on Americas competitiveness and there could be a variety of other reasons for Americas lack of competitive edge.
Error: develpoment Suggestion: development
Error: volunter Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: advancment Suggestion: advancement
Sentence: As previously mentioned the author argument will remained flawed if he or she does not provide any relevant information such as the current state of the economy, what countries America is losing its competitive egde to and how, how much leisure time is actually spent shopping and what consumers are buying.
Error: egde Suggestion: edge
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 406 350
No. of Characters: 1952 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.489 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.808 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.573 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 136 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 110 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 12.101 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.423 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.655 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.129 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5