The board of directors of the Monarch Books recommends opening a cafe in its store to compete with Regal books who have implemented the same idea. The reason behind the recommendations are vague and needs a more elaborative explanation of the reason to make argument persuasive.
The author believes that the book store is at the same place for many years and has copious customers which will benefit the cafe' to make profits and stay in the competition. However, Monarch Books is known for a variety of books and has a huge customer base because of this paramount feature of the store. There is a strong possibility that a vast percentage of customers are not fond of visiting entertaining places like a cafe and thus can harm the idea of opening a cafe. The author should run a survey among these customers about their interest in visiting a cafe to bolster his claim and make cafe operate successfully. In the race to gain success author also neglects the fact about the cafe in their surrounding and there fame amongst the people. It is widely possible that premises of Monarch Books may have an old and famous cafe which will be given first preference the new cafe opened by Monarch Books. The author, therefore, should provide more details regarding the cafe and their popularity amongst the people to make the argument convincing.
On the other hand, the author also recommends to clear off the children's section to vacate the place for building a cafe ignoring the effects of the action. Based on the recent census the author believes a reduction in children's population nationwide in the coming years but he fails to highlight the importance of children's section on the profit of the Monarch Books. There is a strong possibility that the major percentage of the profit of Monarch Books is accumulated by the sale of children's books and thus demolishing that section can have a substantial effect on profit for the coming years. It is also possible that the parents visiting along the kids will buy a few books and increases the number of customers of Monarch Books which will make it more popular. Hence, removing the children's section can reduce the number of customers in the coming years.
The author's interest in developing the cafe is because of competition with Regal Books cafe but the author fails to mention the details about the trends of profit for Regal Books before and after developing the cafe. The author should learn about the trends of Regal Books to make his argument more persuasive.
Conclusively, In order to compete with other book stores, the author tries to demolish the children's section to build a cafe but fails to consider customers interest in a cafe, children's section contribution to the cafe, popularity of other cafe's in the premises and trends of other book stores who have developed a cafe.
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 486 350
No. of Characters: 2329 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.695 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.792 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.588 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.588 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.191 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.706 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.397 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.397 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.136 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...he reason to make argument persuasive. The author believes that the book store is ...
^^^
Line 3, column 36, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommends clearing'.
Suggestion: recommends clearing
...ng. On the other hand, the author also recommends to clear off the childrens section to vacate the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, may, regarding, so, therefore, thus, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 55.5748502994 135% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2352.0 2260.96107784 104% => OK
No of words: 486.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.83950617284 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69525374022 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60558180571 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 204.123752495 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.393004115226 0.468620217663 84% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 749.7 705.55239521 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 53.3766404333 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.352941176 119.503703932 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.5882352941 23.324526521 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.17647058824 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.255889734365 0.218282227539 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.1063219363 0.0743258471296 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0928029828503 0.0701772020484 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.181364574142 0.128457276422 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0692838337092 0.0628817314937 110% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.7 14.3799401198 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.79 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.