When Stanley Park first opened, it was the largest, most heavily used public park in town. It is still the largest park, but it is no longer heavily used. Video cameras mounted in the park's parking lots last month revealed the park's drop in popularity:

In this statement, the author suggest the town should need more benches to convertsome unused open areas into spaces for socialzing. To support the recommendation, the author tells us the once heavily used public park the Stanley Park was not so popular as before. In that Video survaillance showed a declining numbers of parking cars. And the tiny Carlton Park is visited by more people a day which provides more seates to people. While this suggestion is problematic, there are some loopholes we need to scrutinize carefully.

To begin with, the Video camera's records is not covincing to prove less people visited the Stanley Park than before. Although the number of people who drove here became less, while they could have other choices of transpotations to get here, maybe they rode bikes to the Stanley or took buses even on their feet which are all highly possible if the people do not want to drive a car to go to this park. What we need concerns is why the car parked less than before, it could be explained as the doldrums of economy which let people drive less in the consideration of fuels.

What's more, the tiny Carlton Park is not comparable with the large Stanley Park. Firstly, the scale is different. Obviously, the Carton is tiny,hence the park's functions are different from the large one, like the tine park may just afford people to have a rest and sit a while, while the large park could be available for a large concert. Secondly, the locations are different, the Carlton locates at the center of the business district while we do not know where is the large Stanley Park is. So in this point they are not comparable. For example, the Stanley Park locates at the suburban of the city where there are less people compared with the center of the city.

Finally, let's discuss with the target of the suggetion, which want to transfer some unused place into socialzing venue with sufficeint benches. While whether the people in the town need the new place for socialzing is in question. Firstly, there are lots of palces for people to socialization like restaurant and bars as well as some public area like parks, while the parks is the one of so many choices, so whether the people will like the new open place or not is unprdicatable. Secondly, given to the case of carton park which offers lots of seats, we can not make the conclusion that people in any new open public place for socializing would like to have a sit and talk, maybe some of people like walking or riding even playing basketball. If new open place introduced with benches, it is hard to say they are welcomed by people.

In conclusion, the suggestion is no well supported by the author's evidence. The author should offer more persuasive evidence to support the recommedation. For example, he should survey the most popular socialzing place where people like in this town, as well as the locations of unused places which could be converted.

Votes
Average: 7.3 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 311, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...at Video survaillance showed a declining numbers of parking cars. And the tiny Ca...
^^
Line 3, column 68, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun people is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...meras records is not covincing to prove less people visited the Stanley Park than be...
^^^^
Line 3, column 465, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... is why the car parked less than before, it could be explained as the doldrums of...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
... less in the consideration of fuels. Whats more, the tiny Carlton Park is not comp...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 144, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , hence
...different. Obviously, the Carton is tiny,hence the parks functions are different from ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 240, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to people'
Suggestion: to people
...one, like the tine park may just afford people to have a rest and sit a while, while t...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 266, Rule ID: VB_A_WHILE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'sit awhile'?
Suggestion: sit awhile
...y just afford people to have a rest and sit a while, while the large park could be availabl...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 619, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun people is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...he suburban of the city where there are less people compared with the center of the ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 660, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...lace for socializing would like to have a sit and talk, maybe some of people like wal...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 682, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'some of', you should use 'the' ('some of the people') or simply say ''some people''.
Suggestion: some of the people; some people
...ould like to have a sit and talk, maybe some of people like walking or riding even playing bas...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, firstly, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, well, while, for example, in conclusion, as well as, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 67.0 55.5748502994 121% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2428.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 512.0 441.139720559 116% => OK
Chars per words: 4.7421875 5.12650576532 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.75682846001 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.52644400522 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 204.123752495 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.44921875 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 763.2 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 2.70958083832 295% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.5246532218 57.8364921388 118% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.363636364 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2727272727 23.324526521 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.86363636364 5.70786347227 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.258779270049 0.218282227539 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0921987924647 0.0743258471296 124% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0995937633256 0.0701772020484 142% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156707884893 0.128457276422 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0954050254089 0.0628817314937 152% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.5 14.3799401198 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.51 12.5979740519 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.98 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 98.500998004 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Sentence: In this statement, the author suggest the town should need more benches to convertsome unused open areas into spaces for socialzing.
Error: convertsome Suggestion: converts
Error: socialzing Suggestion: socializing

Sentence: In that Video survaillance showed a declining numbers of parking cars.
Error: survaillance Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: And the tiny Carlton Park is visited by more people a day which provides more seates to people.
Error: seates Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: To begin with, the Video camera's records is not covincing to prove less people visited the Stanley Park than before.
Error: covincing Suggestion: convincing

Sentence: Although the number of people who drove here became less, while they could have other choices of transpotations to get here, maybe they rode bikes to the Stanley or took buses even on their feet which are all highly possible if the people do not want to drive a car to go to this park.
Error: transpotations Suggestion: transportation

Sentence: Finally, let's discuss with the target of the suggetion, which want to transfer some unused place into socialzing venue with sufficeint benches.
Error: sufficeint Suggestion: sufficient
Error: suggetion Suggestion: suggestion
Error: socialzing Suggestion: socializing
Error: venue Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: While whether the people in the town need the new place for socialzing is in question.
Error: socialzing Suggestion: socializing

Sentence: Firstly, there are lots of palces for people to socialization like restaurant and bars as well as some public area like parks, while the parks is the one of so many choices, so whether the people will like the new open place or not is unprdicatable.
Error: parks Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: unprdicatable Suggestion: unpredictable
Error: socialization Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: palces Suggestion: places

Sentence: The author should offer more persuasive evidence to support the recommedation.
Error: recommedation Suggestion: recommendation

Sentence: For example, he should survey the most popular socialzing place where people like in this town, as well as the locations of unused places which could be converted.
Error: socialzing Suggestion: socializing

----------------------

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 513 350
No. of Characters: 2365 1500
No. of Different Words: 219 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.759 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.61 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.408 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.318 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.292 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.727 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.532 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5