Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean
The writer contends that, so called Palean baskets were not uniquelly Palean .To support his assertion, he cites various evidences found by the recent discovery of the archaeologists. Although these evidences appear to bolster the argument, a meticulous analysis will show otherwise. So, in order to make the argument more sound, the author should cite the following especific evidences.
1)People may have crossed the Brim river while there were not water on the river.
2)There would be an alternative way to go Lithos from Palea.
3)There might be ineffective search of Palean boats in Lithos.
First of all, even if the Brim RIver is very deep and broad now, it doesn't ensure that in any time in the past, it were in the same situation as now. In the past, there would be no presence or very less presence of water in the Brim River, at the movement when there were no water or relatively very less water, it is very likely to possible that people would have crossed the river from Palea to Lithos. Thus, by seeing only the situation now, the author's conclusion is unwarranted.
Secondly, the author has not mentioned the availability of other roots. Even if there were the same presence of water in past as it is now, there might be other alternative roots to go Lithos from Palea. Who knows? There might be an alternative root from land to go Lithos from Palea.
Thirdly, the author cites no Palean boats have been found. He has not mentioned procedure to find the boats. There might be an lethargic searching, if the searching activities catalyzed, it may be possible to find the boats in Lithos.
In sum, the writer needs to cite the above especific evidences in order to make the argument more sound. Without these especific evidences, I cannot agree with the author's conclusion.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 310 350
No. of Characters: 1433 1500
No. of Different Words: 143 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.196 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.623 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.445 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 85 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 58 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 49 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.222 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.507 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.322 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 77, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...Palean baskets were not uniquelly Palean .To support his assertion, he cites vario...
^^
Line 1, column 79, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...lean baskets were not uniquelly Palean .To support his assertion, he cites various...
^^
Line 5, column 69, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...im RIver is very deep and broad now, it doesnt ensure that in any time in the past, it...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 449, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
..., by seeing only the situation now, the authors conclusion is unwarranted. Secondly, t...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 124, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...edure to find the boats. There might be an lethargic searching, if the searching a...
^^
Line 8, column 164, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...ific evidences, I cannot agree with the authors conclusion.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, if, may, second, secondly, so, third, thirdly, thus, while, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 55.5748502994 79% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1484.0 2260.96107784 66% => OK
No of words: 309.0 441.139720559 70% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.80258899676 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1926597562 4.56307096286 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51776607494 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 152.0 204.123752495 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.491909385113 0.468620217663 105% => OK
syllable_count: 472.5 705.55239521 67% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 54.4520686272 57.8364921388 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.2941176471 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.1764705882 23.324526521 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.64705882353 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 8.0 5.15768463074 155% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 1.0 8.20758483034 12% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.124567893963 0.218282227539 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0385549298095 0.0743258471296 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0541922124442 0.0701772020484 77% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0535760299372 0.128457276422 42% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0319518777965 0.0628817314937 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.26 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.44 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 57.0 98.500998004 58% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 12.3882235529 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.