Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The following appeared in a memo from a Vice President of a large, highly diversified company.
"Ten years ago our company had two new office buildings constructed as regional headquarters for two regions. The buildings were erected by different construction companies - Alpha and Zeta. Although the two buildings had identical floor plans, the building constructed by Zeta cost 30 percent more to build. However, that building's expenses for maintenance last year were only half those of Alpha's. In addition, the energy consumption of Zeta building has been lower than that of the Alpha building every year since its construction. Given these data, plus the fact that Zeta has a stable workforce with little employee turnover, we recommend using Zeta rather than Alpha for our new building project, even though Alpha's bid promises lower construction costs."
The author recommends using Zeta rather than Alpha construction company for the new building project in order to avoid high maintenance costs and lower the energy consumption. However the author's recommendation does not seem to be well thought through, thus makes hasty interpretations of the data acquired, related to the maintenance and energy costs, without giving a thought to their credibility.
The author mentions that the building made by Zeta construction company costed more as compared to Alpha, although both of the buildings had same floor plans. Further, he says, the Zeta's building expenses for maintenance last year were only half those of Alpha's. Before landing to the given recommendation, the author needs to gloss over a few questions like what was the maintenance cost per year since the construction of the buildings? As it is very difficult to elicit such a conclusion by studying the data for only one year. One might reveal from the previous ten years’ results that the maintenance cost for Alpha is less than that of Zeta, thus proving the author’s recommendation unreliable.
Secondly, the author says that the energy consumption of Zeta has been lower than that of Alpha every year since its construction. As mentioned earlier it is important to know how much the workforce was present in the respective buildings? As more the number of people more will be energy consumption. Thus, it will be incorrect to blame the construction company for higher energy consumption. Further, it is also important to know the regularity of the energy supply in both the buildings, if the Zeta building faced frequent power cuts then it is obvious that their energy consumption is less than that of Alpha's.
Also, the author provides additional information that Zeta has a stable workforce with little employee turnover. Author's this statement gives rise to further questions that if the employees of Zeta company had a little turnover, then why did the company charged more for construction? Even though the company has a stable workforce but it is charging more from its customer, which will be bad from an economic point of view for the customer. Also, the buildings were constructed 10 years ago thus it will be important to know, whether now they are maintaining the same reputation in the market? As 10 years period is long enough and it is not compulsory that the Zeta company which had a stable workforce 10 years before will have it now.
Thus, the author should not make hasty decisions about using Zeta rather than Alpha for the new building project, even though Alpha's bid promises lower construction costs, as it may prove to be the waste of money. Issues regarding the company's present reputation, information about the number of people in the buildings, maintenance history, etc. should be thoroughly investigated before the author's recommendation is put into practice.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 476 350
No. of Characters: 2382 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.671 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.004 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.774 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 163 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.589 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.382 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.382 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.114 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 177, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...costs and lower the energy consumption. However the authors recommendation does not see...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 189, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...wer the energy consumption. However the authors recommendation does not seem to be well...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 85, Rule ID: COMP_THAN[1]
Message: Comparison requires 'than', not 'then' nor 'as'.
Suggestion: than
...y Zeta construction company costed more as compared to Alpha, although both of the...
^^
Line 2, column 147, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'floored'.
Suggestion: floored
...although both of the buildings had same floor plans. Further, he says, the Zetas buil...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 240, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...as present in the respective buildings? As more the number of people more will be ...
^^
Line 4, column 254, Rule ID: DID_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean 'charge'?
Suggestion: charge
...ttle turnover, then why did the company charged more for construction? Even though the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 392, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...d be thoroughly investigated before the authors recommendation is put into practice. ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, well
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 16.3942115768 165% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2431.0 2260.96107784 108% => OK
No of words: 476.0 441.139720559 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.10714285714 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67091256922 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.85852274513 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.468487394958 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 733.5 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 10.0 2.70958083832 369% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.1112790774 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 121.55 119.503703932 102% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.9 5.70786347227 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0834852566202 0.218282227539 38% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0314034970951 0.0743258471296 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0279495694193 0.0701772020484 40% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0530081473202 0.128457276422 41% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0143404163282 0.0628817314937 23% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.3799401198 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.65 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 98.500998004 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.