Claim: The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its role models.Reason: Heroes and role models reveal a society's highest ideals.

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Claim: The best way to understand the character of a society is to examine the character of the men and women that the society chooses as its heroes or its role models.
Reason: Heroes and role models reveal a society's highest ideals.

Heroes and role models are normally building up by the society due to their respectable characters. The speaker claims that examine the character of the heroes or role models is the best way to understand the character of a society. The reason is the highest ideals of a society can reveal by heroes and role models. I concede that the characters of a hero or role model could reveal the good character of a society. However, the negative character and the culture of a society could not be revealed in this way.

First consider the heroes or role models who impressed the society to strive for adversity. When facing the adversity, the role models can show their strong faith and ability to impress the society. The strong faith actually is one of the main characters of a society when it is facing the adversity. In 2003, when Hong Kong is infected by the SARS, Dr. Tse Yuen Man, who is a doctor worked at Tuen Mun Hospital in Hong Kong, volunteered to work in the SARS ward in the hospital. As she is very devoted to her duty, many Hong Kong people was impressed by her faith and the selfless service. After the SARS, the economy of Hong Kong recovered fast as Hong Kong people held the spirit of Dr. Tse. The character of the heroes or role models reveals the never give up spirit of Hong Kong people, which is one of the important characters of Hong Kong.

Also, besides giving people faiths and impressed them, hero or role model sometimes give realistic help to the society which could reveal the spirit of helping people of a society. Ming is a boss of a small restaurant in Hong Kong. He provides thousands of free lunch boxes to the people who could not afford their three meals. Also, he recollected the thousands moon cakes from the residents and give to the poor. The willing to help people others and Ming’s selfless services reveal the charitable character of Hong Kong.

However, role models or heroes could not reveal all the character of a society. Since the characters of a society involved different aspects, some of the other characters of a society could not be revealed simply by considering the characters of the hero or role model. As the exaggeration of mass media, the heroes or role models only reveal their positive spirit but cannot reveal the negative characters and the culture of the society. The negative characters includes economic inequality in a society. Also, the other characters such as culture, language and traditional customs could not be simply revealed by a hero. In short, the speaker’s claim is not the best way to understand the character of a society.

In sum, the character of heroes and role models could only reveal the positive spirits in a society. However, it is cannot wholly reveal the character of a society. As a result, it is impossible for people to have a comprehensively understanding of the character in a society only by considering the heroes or role models.

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Average: 7.3 (6 votes)
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Sentence: The willing to help people others and Ming's selfless services reveal the charitable character of Hong Kong.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and others

Sentence: However, it is cannot wholly reveal the character of a society.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to is and cannot

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 514 350
No. of Characters: 2361 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.761 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.593 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.538 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 176 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.769 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.623 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.423 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.391 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.555 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.203 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5