391. The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reas

Essay topics:

391. The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

If one is asked to answer what is the driving force of the modern society, one would likely to say that the technological advancement led society to develop. Clearly, it is evident that through the industrial revolution and IT revolution people’s lives changed tremendously. However, it is debatable what should be a main purpose of techonlogical development. In my opinion, among many possible goals of techonological advancement, to make people’s lives convenient and develop the economy is two of the most important goals of it, not the increased leisure time.

It is admitted that, technology should enhance people’s efficiency to make more leisure time for them. By improving labor’s efficiency, a task previously exacted more than an ten hours could be finished in just a few hours. A washing mahcine is a paragon of this. Before the development of washing machine, usually women the labor required to wash the clothes were unthinkably burdensome and exacting work. They had to go to the river or well however harsh a whether is, fiand spend more than five hours to clean the clothes. However, with the advent of the washing machine, the process became much easier and faster, liberating women from tedious burden. Like this, technology should focus on increasing labor’s efficiency so that people have more free time, and it could increase the overall welfare of people.

However, there is more important goal of techonlogical advancement that should be noted. Technology must develop in a way that people could feel more convenient than before. This is mostly correlated with the utility and happiness of people. Take for instance a smart phone. Before the smart phone’s era, people usually used cell phone just for the purpose of calling to other people and people needed to access internet only through private computer. But the development of the smart phone changed people’s way of living. People nowadays could conveniently access the internet by just clicking the buttons of small smart phones and they can access the internet in every place if they just has a smart phone. The advent of smart phone made people’s life convenient and this aspect of technological development should be deemed an essential purpose.

Moreover, there are even more pivotal purpose of technological development, which is to make impossible possible. Technology has a potential to enable people to do what once deemed impossible and unthinkable. The best example is the development of an air-plane. In the early twentieth century, the notion of flying to the sky was deemed impossible. Against such a ubiquitous notion, wright brothers painstakingly investigated what could be essential in flying and they finally made first modern..

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Average: 5.8 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 184, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...cy, a task previously exacted more than an ten hours could be finished in just a f...
^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...hould be deemed an essential purpose. Moreover, there are even more pivotal pu...
^^^^
Line 11, column 499, Rule ID: DOUBLE_PUNCTUATION
Message: Two consecutive dots
Suggestion: .
...lying and they finally made first modern..
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, however, if, moreover, so, well, for instance, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.5258426966 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 33.0505617978 67% => OK
Preposition: 55.0 58.6224719101 94% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 12.9106741573 101% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2342.0 2235.4752809 105% => OK
No of words: 439.0 442.535393258 99% => OK
Chars per words: 5.33485193622 5.05705443957 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57737117129 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99471569305 2.79657885939 107% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 215.323595506 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.519362186788 0.4932671777 105% => OK
syllable_count: 738.0 704.065955056 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.38483146067 228% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 23.0359550562 78% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.29561467 60.3974514979 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 97.5833333333 118.986275619 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.2916666667 23.4991977007 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.375 5.21951772744 65% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.83258426966 166% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211589795058 0.243740707755 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0614397126691 0.0831039109588 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0604920165635 0.0758088955206 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125116565639 0.150359130593 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0289955148186 0.0667264976115 43% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.1392134831 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.63 12.1639044944 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.45 8.38706741573 101% => OK
difficult_words: 109.0 100.480337079 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 11.8971910112 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.2143820225 82% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.