In any field of endeavor, it is impossible to make a significant contribution without first being strongly influenced by past achievements within that field.
The minds of humans have always remained curious by nature, whether it is because of their foraging nature or due to their need to find a purpose or a sense of fulfillment is up for debate. However, what is not up for debate is that they deserve recognition for developing their interests, which as the prompt suggests would be "impossible" without the existence of already present achievements in that field. The following three reasons dictate why the premise discussed in the prompt should not be considered completely true.
To begin with, all existing well-established fields of today were once nascent, and therefore it wasn't possible for them to already have the glamour of accomplishments to attract novices towards it. For example, the use of artificial intelligence in healthcare is a vast field with multiple accomplishments. However initially, it wasn't the accomplishments that got people interested in it, but rather the impact that it had in making the world a better place that got people interested in it. Even if there weren't as many scholarships and funds for the research and betterment of current technology, there would still be scholars who would be interested in pursuing the field because of its outcome.
Further, for someone to be able to contribute something significant towards which they are working, they must be highly motivated and dedicated towards the cause. Often it is observed that people have various reasons for as to why they are committed to a cause and not just because of the precedence in that field. Consider an example of a child, who enjoys painting as a hobby. However, as she grows up, she will be more likely to pursue art as a viable career option because she has been exposed to art from a young age. Granted she might idolize certain artists and/or their work, however, it will be because she was already curious about art and therefore took up an interest in its history and not the other way around. Thus, it will be appropriate to say that a person's contributions stem from their passion, which is in turn derived from their experiences.
Now, some might argue that for people to “grow into” fields, they require a nudge in the right direction which is provided by the significant past achievements. But, let us not forget the fact that all the well-established fields of today, were once fledgling, and therefore required external factors other than "past significant achievements" to encourage newcomers into pursuing them. For instance, the discovery of fire undisputedly remains the most useful achievement in the history of mankind. However, it wasn't the significant achievements that led to such a huge contribution, but simple curiosity and need of the hour that lead towards it. And thus, it is not the feathers in the cap of an industry that attracts newcomers towards it, but the potential of that industry to be explored and utilized.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 98, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...day were once nascent, and therefore it wasnt possible for them to already have the g...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 309, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...st field with multiple accomplishments. However initially, it wasnt the accomplishments...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 331, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
... accomplishments. However initially, it wasnt the accomplishments that got people int...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 508, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: weren't
... people interested in it. Even if there werent as many scholarships and funds for the ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 522, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
... in the history of mankind. However, it wasnt the significant achievements that led t...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, so, still, therefore, thus, well, as to, for example, for instance, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.5258426966 128% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 14.8657303371 121% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.3162921348 177% => OK
Pronoun: 49.0 33.0505617978 148% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 58.6224719101 109% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2450.0 2235.4752809 110% => OK
No of words: 485.0 442.535393258 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05154639175 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69283662038 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.04625900246 2.79657885939 109% => OK
Unique words: 249.0 215.323595506 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.513402061856 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 758.7 704.065955056 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 6.24550561798 128% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.77640449438 338% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.7126207162 60.3974514979 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.111111111 118.986275619 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.9444444444 23.4991977007 115% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5 5.21951772744 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.83258426966 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.186920728298 0.243740707755 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.057244312448 0.0831039109588 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0411721773682 0.0758088955206 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.114657118767 0.150359130593 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0176115595501 0.0667264976115 26% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.8 14.1392134831 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.8420337079 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.1743820225 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.31 12.1639044944 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.57 8.38706741573 102% => OK
difficult_words: 112.0 100.480337079 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 11.8971910112 122% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.