Some people think people have different abilities to perform a certain activity. Others think that is not because of different ability but it is just that they have different talents that they can excel at. Thus, the latter group thinks a desirable society should encourage every individual with different potential and talent to contribute to the improvement of the society. I agree with the latter and the following essay will argue why that is.
Admittedly, competition can become a boost for the improvement since competition is not only comparing oneself with others but also comparing oneself of yesterday to oneself of today. This is because, at the base of the sense of competition, there lies a sense of becoming better. And this strong sense of competitiveness led many leaders in society to made a striking achievement. For instance, Samsung was started with a small enterprise mainly selling the food products in the 1960s. Their rank was low in the first place. However, with the strong sense of competition with other companies, they defeated the others and won. Thus, the success of the company could be reasoned for the competitive character of the leaders.
However, competition has more harms than the advantages considering that when it goes in a bad way, it can become a self-destructive thing. Like you can see from the elitism when one is too excellent than others, they easily fall into the thought that they are more important than others and become arrogant rather than being cooperative. In contrast, when the progress or the performance of one is too sluggish than others, they become easily dismayed and lose the inspiration for the achievements.
In contrast, leaders with the sense of the cooperation can find that everyone has talents in different areas. When one finds the thing that one can do their best and cooperate, the best result can be made. This is actually the way the society works. Our society is so complex that it is unlikely that the one excellent person to solve the whole problems successfully. Rather, when different points of view are gathered, it becomes possible to find the solution with a comprehensive perspective. Therefore, the cooperation is more important and crucial to solving complex problems in the real world.
To sum up, the leaders with the sense of cooperation can perform better at dealing with complex issues with the help of people rather than those with the sense of competition, who can become arrogant and dogmatic to one's belief.
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
The arguments are correct. Be careful to the language, look:
Some people think people have different abilities to perform a certain activity. Others think that is not because of different ability but it is just that they have different talents that they can excel at.
need to polish the sentence.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 416 350
No. of Characters: 2045 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.516 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.916 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.696 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 109 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.81 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.588 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.51 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.079 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 88, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a bad way" with adverb for "bad"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...dvantages considering that when it goes in a bad way, it can become a self-destructive thing...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 218, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...who can become arrogant and dogmatic to ones belief.
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, however, if, may, so, therefore, thus, for instance, in contrast, to sum up, in the first place
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.3162921348 141% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 33.0505617978 100% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 58.6224719101 96% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 12.9106741573 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2101.0 2235.4752809 94% => OK
No of words: 416.0 442.535393258 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.05048076923 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.51620172871 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78169665983 2.79657885939 99% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 215.323595506 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.480769230769 0.4932671777 97% => OK
syllable_count: 654.3 704.065955056 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 6.24550561798 160% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 46.7179019036 60.3974514979 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.047619048 118.986275619 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8095238095 23.4991977007 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.85714285714 5.21951772744 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 10.2758426966 165% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.109351759526 0.243740707755 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0370625096472 0.0831039109588 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0228345164693 0.0758088955206 30% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0607075510456 0.150359130593 40% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0238624290928 0.0667264976115 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.3 14.1392134831 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.8420337079 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.01 12.1639044944 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 100.480337079 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.