The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government industry or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation not competition

Essay topics:

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

In the statement, it asserts that the optimum way for a society to nurture its young people for leadership in a myriad of fields is by inoculate in them a sense of cooperation instead of competition. In my point of view, this argument might hold true for preparation of young people who wish to work in the field of government and business but not art.

there are many qualities that a successful leader should own. Two of the most important quality, in my opinion, are creativeness and flexibility. when working as a group, a perfect environment for brainstorm will form, where all the people who being involved are able to see what others’ perspectives are. In other words, it is an efficient way to broaden and widen one’s vision and ways of thinking; when there are more ideas, the greater the possibility that a person are able to adroitly come up with the most suitable solution when facing different kinds of problems. In workplace such as government and business, flexibility is crucial since people, especially leaders, are going to tackle new problems every single day. Each problem has its own unique situation, thus leaders should have potent creativeness to come up with ideas also own flexible way of thinking to look at one problem from various aspects, and those are the abilities that teamwork can help ones to form. thus to strengthen young people in their sense of cooperation will definitely be advantages for their future leaderships in government or enterprises.

However, to be prepare for leadership in the field of art, the situation is completely different. A great leader in art industry is to have audacious thoughts, the strong-will to break the doctrine, to stands out from others, which makes cooperation less valuable. Claude monet, one of the most regarded painters in the field of art, was leading impressionism, the advent-grade art genre at his time. After monet, Van gogh, one of the greatest and most talented artists throughout the history, was the leader of post-impressionism. If there were no competition between the people who support the orthodox academicism and the people like Mona and gogh who had strong-will to create new genres of painting and who want to find a way to better express their feelings, then there will be no such thing as leader in field of art because everything created will be naturally accepted and will be seen as normal instead of novel.

In sum, the statement is tenuous because of its over-generalization between the definitions of leadership in various fields.

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Average: 8.3 (2 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...nd business but not art. there are many qualities that a successful le...
^^^^^
Line 11, column 147, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...nion, are creativeness and flexibility. when working as a group, a perfect environme...
^^^^
Line 11, column 991, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...es that teamwork can help ones to form. thus to strengthen young people in their sen...
^^^^
Line 11, column 991, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: thus,
...es that teamwork can help ones to form. thus to strengthen young people in their sen...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, look, so, then, thus, such as, in my opinion, in other words

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.5258426966 118% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.4196629213 89% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 14.8657303371 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 33.0505617978 54% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 58.6224719101 121% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 12.9106741573 132% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2180.0 2235.4752809 98% => OK
No of words: 425.0 442.535393258 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12941176471 5.05705443957 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.55969084622 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9703829865 2.79657885939 106% => OK
Unique words: 235.0 215.323595506 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.552941176471 0.4932671777 112% => OK
syllable_count: 651.6 704.065955056 93% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 23.0359550562 122% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 80.3657196128 60.3974514979 133% => OK
Chars per sentence: 145.333333333 118.986275619 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.3333333333 23.4991977007 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.6 5.21951772744 107% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 5.13820224719 19% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.264320012871 0.243740707755 108% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.093818697785 0.0831039109588 113% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.126272022145 0.0758088955206 167% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.187286234126 0.150359130593 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.155800791605 0.0667264976115 233% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.9 14.1392134831 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.8420337079 105% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.1743820225 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.77 12.1639044944 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.0 8.38706741573 107% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 100.480337079 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.2143820225 118% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.