The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and examples that could be used to challenge your position.
The claim represents that it would be helpful for society<pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-A1BF1E5337B89BFE1EDA91ED10388B6A" data-pwa-rule-id="READABILITY_253" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Readability may be enhanced by removing this" data-pwa-suggestions="(omit)" data-pwa-dictionary-word=", in general," class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">, in general,</pwa> to rear the youth in the way to be more cooperative rather than competitive. By my reckoning, this claim is <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-83DB2D6CB5386744973A00F7D31C27F9" data-pwa-rule-id="READABILITY_182" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Readability may be enhanced by removing this" data-pwa-suggestions="(omit)" data-pwa-dictionary-word="fundamentally " class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">fundamentally </pwa>true except a nuance of deficiency which it has.
The primary advantage provided with this approach is a sense of community produced by encouraging young people to be more cooperative and to embrace the communal objectives also prioritize them over some of their individual goals in some specific situation. For example, young people <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-288A8508B7998F8450FB97FC5A1D1428" data-pwa-rule-id="READABILITY_2007" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Readability may be enhanced by using: gain" data-pwa-suggestions="gain" data-pwa-dictionary-word="acquire" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">acquire</pwa> to sacrifice their individual profits for their group or society goals <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-AA3C99FBDE43A1D011EA7C9A472C50A4" data-pwa-rule-id="READABILITY_1603" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Readability may be enhanced by removing this" data-pwa-suggestions="(omit)" data-pwa-dictionary-word="which is " class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">which is </pwa>one of the most important features of a good leader in government or any smaller organizations. to be more concise, consider a situation which a country <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-7EA5F1FC9203C09D4C3FC87E3A071CA5" data-pwa-rule-id="READABILITY_2075" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Readability may be enhanced by using: takes part" data-pwa-suggestions="takes part" data-pwa-dictionary-word="participates" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">participates</pwa> in a war so you can find out how influential could be the cooperation, sacrifice, and the sense of community provided with them.
Looking at the second part of the claim announced that <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-C7B09288F8D18D3C541949AB72C157A4" data-pwa-rule-id="READABILITY_1753" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Readability may be enhanced by removing this" data-pwa-suggestions="(omit)" data-pwa-dictionary-word="the presence of " class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">the presence of</pwa><pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-C7B09288F8D18D3C541949AB72C157A4" data-pwa-rule-id="READABILITY_1753" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Readability may be enhanced by removing this" data-pwa-suggestions="(omit)" data-pwa-dictionary-word="the presence of " class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done"> </pwa>competition could be an obstacle in the way of upbringing future leaders in different parts of society. Competition, an inseparable part of human nature, could <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-31FC00A8B1BA86774E5709657F84ED8B" data-pwa-rule-id="CRFSR_DERIVE_29" data-pwa-category="grammar" data-pwa-hint="Possible confused word" data-pwa-suggestions="drive" data-pwa-dictionary-word="derive" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">derive</pwa> the youth to pave their way for expanding their innovation, creativity and other innate intelligence <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-9F0AF755BAE81CD56121081C8EAF432E" data-pwa-rule-id="READABILITY_1513" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Readability may be enhanced by removing this" data-pwa-suggestions="(omit)" data-pwa-dictionary-word="that " class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">that </pwa>they have, subsequently <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-5AEE2DC9700338853C3AFB1EF1979592" data-pwa-rule-id="READABILITY_2086" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Readability may be enhanced by using: use" data-pwa-suggestions="use" data-pwa-dictionary-word="utilize" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">utilize</pwa> them to play the role of a leader in the different part of society such as <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-78F8036817419E0DA2AD8AFF1CE6FD1B" data-pwa-rule-id="DET_CG_2" data-pwa-category="grammar" data-pwa-hint="Possible missing determiner" data-pwa-suggestions="an industry~the industry" data-pwa-dictionary-word="industry" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">industry</pwa>. <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-78EAC75B9EC3E80C3F96C9C1D73B030C" data-pwa-rule-id="READABILITY_542" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Readability may be enhanced by using: If" data-pwa-suggestions="If" data-pwa-dictionary-word="Nevertheless, if" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">Nevertheless, if</pwa> this innate sense will not <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-33B5491C9E65BBB65C11FE3C370365E5" data-pwa-rule-id="null" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Passive verbs make your writing less direct. Try to use an active verb instead." data-pwa-suggestions="" data-pwa-dictionary-word="be employed" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">be</pwa><pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-33B5491C9E65BBB65C11FE3C370365E5" data-pwa-rule-id="null" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Passive verbs make your writing less direct. Try to use an active verb instead." data-pwa-suggestions="" data-pwa-dictionary-word="be employed" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done"> employed</pwa> in a controlled way could deviate <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-6B4CB45B69F566FD828CF645544690AF" data-pwa-rule-id="READABILITY_2865" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Readability may be enhanced by using: most" data-pwa-suggestions="most" data-pwa-dictionary-word="the majority of" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">the majority of</pwa> young people to harm their society rather than improving it. For example, consider a young people based on the negative rivalry with his/her relatives <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-40D1E7EC6633B1F47ACD8B5014844571" data-pwa-rule-id="READABILITY_716" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Readability may be enhanced by using: commits" data-pwa-suggestions="commits" data-pwa-dictionary-word="decides to commit" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">decides to commit</pwa> such lucrative crimes such as smuggling, which brings the negative consequences for the <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-0AB9F184B99EB90E3E8F292E8C13B64A" data-pwa-rule-id="SIMPLE_SPELLING" data-pwa-category="spelling" data-pwa-hint="Unknown word: comunity" data-pwa-suggestions="community~command~commander~garment~comment" data-pwa-dictionary-word="comunity" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">comunity</pwa>.
In summary, based on the reasons in <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-326B49F8F253E32051C6E6C19A43F1BB" data-pwa-rule-id="DET_CG_2" data-pwa-category="grammar" data-pwa-hint="Possible missing determiner" data-pwa-suggestions="a foregoing~the foregoing" data-pwa-dictionary-word="foregoing" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">foregoing</pwa> paragraph, the claim has both some positive and negative aspects and it could be fully complete <pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-0392DCD17C3064EBDD5A414FF3530194" data-pwa-rule-id="null" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Passive verbs make your writing less direct. Try to use an active verb instead." data-pwa-suggestions="it takes if some consideration and controls~I take if some consideration and controls~we take if some consideration and controls~they take if some consideration and controls~it take if some consideration and controls~someone takes if some consideration and controls~someone take if some consideration and controls~I takes if some consideration and controls~something takes if some consideration and controls~they takes if some consideration and controls~something take if some consideration and controls~we takes if some consideration and controls" data-pwa-dictionary-word="if some consideration and controls are taken" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">if some consideration and controls </pwa><pwa data-pwa-id="pwa-0392DCD17C3064EBDD5A414FF3530194" data-pwa-rule-id="null" data-pwa-category="style" data-pwa-hint="Passive verbs make your writing less direct. Try to use an active verb instead." data-pwa-suggestions="it takes if some consideration and controls~I take if some consideration and controls~we take if some consideration and controls~they take if some consideration and controls~it take if some consideration and controls~someone takes if some consideration and controls~someone take if some consideration and controls~I takes if some consideration and controls~something takes if some consideration and controls~they takes if some consideration and controls~something take if some consideration and controls~we takes if some consideration and controls" data-pwa-dictionary-word="if some consideration and controls are taken" class="pwa-mark pwa-mark-done">are taken</pwa> into account and added to the claim.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 357, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , &apos
...a-pwa-dictionary-word=', in general,' class='pwa-mark pwa-mark-done&apo...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 418, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , ...wa-mark pwa-mark-done'>, in general, to rear the youth in the way to be...
^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t a nuance of deficiency which it has. The primary advantage provided with this...
^^^
Line 3, column 1172, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: To
...overnment or any smaller organizations. to be more concise, consider a situation w...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, if, look, may, nevertheless, second, so, for example, in general, in summary, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.5258426966 149% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.4196629213 161% => OK
Conjunction : 35.0 14.8657303371 235% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 50.0 33.0505617978 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 58.6224719101 118% => OK
Nominalization: 37.0 12.9106741573 287% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 9507.0 2235.4752809 425% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 790.0 442.535393258 179% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 12.0341772152 5.05705443957 238% => Less chars per word wanted.
Fourth root words length: 5.30159774456 4.55969084622 116% => OK
Word Length SD: 14.0012980949 2.79657885939 501% => Word_Length_SD is high.
Unique words: 299.0 215.323595506 139% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.378481012658 0.4932671777 77% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 2635.2 704.065955056 374% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 3.3 1.59117977528 207% => Avg_syllables_per_word is high.
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.2370786517 69% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 56.0 23.0359550562 243% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 334.781081379 60.3974514979 554% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 679.071428571 118.986275619 571% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 56.4285714286 23.4991977007 240% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 6.5 5.21951772744 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 10.2758426966 78% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0136774053266 0.243740707755 6% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0144871722644 0.0831039109588 17% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0171263345086 0.0758088955206 23% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0155010910589 0.150359130593 10% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0128773108032 0.0667264976115 19% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 63.4 14.1392134831 448% => Automated_readability_index is high.
flesch_reading_ease: -129.18 48.8420337079 -264% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 26.7 7.92365168539 337% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 45.2 12.1743820225 371% => Flesch kincaid grade is high.
coleman_liau_index: 53.38 12.1639044944 439% => Coleman_liau_index is high.
dale_chall_readability_score: 10.55 8.38706741573 126% => OK
difficult_words: 207.0 100.480337079 206% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 25.5 11.8971910112 214% => Linsear_write_formula is high.
gunning_fog: 24.4 11.2143820225 218% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 27.0 11.7820224719 229% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.