The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree

Essay topics:

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

Is a sense of cooperation more important than competition in order to prepare young people for leadership? While competition may seem critical for young people to have a good understanding of leading a team, cooperation is becoming more important in different fields. Thus, I believe that young people should be prepared with a sense of working with other people to be a good leader for the following reasons.

Firstly, one of the critical aspects of leadership is to find potential of a person and support him to maximize his ability. In this sense, it is critical for young people to learn from their early stage of life how to work, get along, and communicate with other people. By working within a team, they can learn how to share goals and ideas and draw different perspectives of the team members in order to achieve the shared goals. Successful business gurus share their philosophy of team working and tell us how they encouraged their team members to find their own potential, which can be beneficial for the team projects. Thus, to prepare young generations to be leaders of the future, it is critical to edify a good sense of working as a team.

Also, the increasingly globalized world requires young people to have a substantial understanding of cooperation. In any societies, they experience an increasing number of immigrants from different cultural background. Accordingly, the market also has a propensity of heterogeneity as the population of consumers become more diverse. Given such condition, it would be foolish to ignore the importance of the skills that are critical to unify and communicate with people with a range of cultural backgrounds. For example, according to a recently released survey result in Australia, one of the countries experiencing the highest immigrants entering rate, companies favours young people with a good sense of diversity and working with other people, rather than those who are only goal-oriented and competition-focused. This shows that the world requires leaders with a good sense of cooperation, and thus we should focus on instilling in young people an idea of working with others.

Of course, some may still argue the importance of competitiveness, especially when it comes to obtaining a goal. It is critical for a leader to have a sense of competition since the role of a leader is to win the game and reward the team members. If a leader can harmonize with all people, while fail every single time when he needs to win over others, it would be difficult to call him a efficient leader. However, a sense of competition is not always more critical than that of cooperation. In fact, being cooperative is more important to maximize the ability of the team members. The role of a leader is not fighting against someone else. Rather, it is to harmonize and lead a team so that the team wins its goal, not his.

In conclusion, while a sense of competition is important for leaders in some sense, it is an ability to cooperate with others that lead a group of people to a winning. The role of leaders is not win a game by themselves, but support their people so that they can properly utilize their potential and ability.

Votes
Average: 6.2 (3 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 388, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...hers, it would be difficult to call him a efficient leader. However, a sense of c...
^

Discourse Markers used:
['accordingly', 'also', 'but', 'first', 'firstly', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'so', 'still', 'thus', 'while', 'for example', 'in conclusion', 'in fact', 'of course']

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.227655986509 0.240241500013 95% => OK
Verbs: 0.148397976391 0.157235817809 94% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0910623946037 0.0880659088768 103% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0472175379427 0.0497285424764 95% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0472175379427 0.0444667217837 106% => OK
Prepositions: 0.141652613828 0.12292977631 115% => OK
Participles: 0.0320404721754 0.0406280797675 79% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.9531643534 2.79330140395 106% => OK
Infinitives: 0.043844856661 0.030933414821 142% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.0016655270985 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.106239460371 0.0997080785238 107% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0168634064081 0.0249443105267 68% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.0151770657673 0.0148568991511 102% => OK

Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 3185.0 2732.02544248 117% => OK
No of words: 540.0 452.878318584 119% => OK
Chars per words: 5.89814814815 6.0361032391 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.82057051367 4.58838876751 105% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.32962962963 0.366273622748 90% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.261111111111 0.280924506359 93% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.190740740741 0.200843997647 95% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.133333333333 0.132149295362 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9531643534 2.79330140395 106% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 219.290929204 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.425925925926 0.48968727796 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
Word variations: 49.4579158502 55.4138127331 89% => OK
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6194690265 112% => OK
Sentence length: 23.4782608696 23.380412469 100% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.8947405369 59.4972553346 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.47826087 141.124799967 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.4782608696 23.380412469 100% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.695652173913 0.674092028746 103% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.94800884956 101% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.21349557522 19% => OK
Readability: 49.5893719807 51.4728631049 96% => OK
Elegance: 1.65277777778 1.64882698954 100% => OK

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.382310602408 0.391690518653 98% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.134872200499 0.123202303941 109% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0901487781381 0.077325440228 117% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.575757905739 0.547984918172 105% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.122888267904 0.149214159877 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.169454854865 0.161403998019 105% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0723370583262 0.0892212321368 81% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.444769970294 0.385218514788 115% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0186588511948 0.0692045440612 27% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.286417255695 0.275328986314 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.036270597718 0.0653680567796 55% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.

Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 20.0 10.4325221239 192% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.30420353982 38% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88274336283 20% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 19.0 7.22455752212 263% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 3.66592920354 55% => OK
Neutral topic words: 1.0 2.70907079646 37% => OK
Total topic words: 22.0 13.5995575221 162% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

flaws:
No. of Words: 540 while No. of Different Words: 222 // it means it is wordy. for example, the example in the second argument is duplicated to the argument. It can be removed.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 540 350
No. of Characters: 2579 1500
No. of Different Words: 222 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.821 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.776 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.861 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.478 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.745 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.652 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.521 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5