The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disa

Essay topics:

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

The speaker has asserted that millennials have to cooperate to lead the society across all fields. It has also been claimed that competition among young people can be deleterious to the growth of society. In my opinion, even though cooperation is very important to effectuate development, it is important for youth to compete amongst themselves to learn and expand their horizons. Hence, I partially disagree with the prompt and would like to reason with two arguments.

Firstly, it is essential to observe the path that the world has followed since ancient times. Animals have always competed to survive, resulting in the passage of the best possible set of genes to the progeny. This has been thoroughly explained by Charles Darwin in his book 'The Origin of Species' which terms natural selection as one of the most important factors that contribute towards the conservation and development of a species in the ecosystem. Analogously, if the same concept is applied to modern human society, we can observe that human beings have always competed to survive. Competition always results in shaping the best possible outcome, thereby helping the advancement of society. In this case, leadership qualities excessively contribute to function better in high ranked jobs in the public and private sectors. Competition is the only possible way to weed out the average and select the best for the job, thus making it slightly more important than cooperation.

On the other hand, one may also argue that excessive competition might lead to disputes in the work environment, resulting in decreased efficiency. If two eminent individuals working on a project, constantly argue and fight to gain the spotlight, it might lead to negligence of important work, due to an increase in focus towards petty issues. If the two individuals were brought up in a way, such that they concentrated on the greater good rather than on individualistic improvement, the project might have reached completion. Hence, it is appropriate to infer that excessive competition can be a bane to society.

To sum, the issue presented in this prompt is a contentious one. The society cannot live in the absence of either of the two, making both cooperation and competition essential for the development of society. Consequently, they must go hand in hand in hand in view of the bigger picture.

Votes
Average: 1.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 13, column 236, Rule ID: PHRASE_REPETITION[1]
Message: This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only 'hand in'.
Suggestion: hand in
... of society. Consequently, they must go hand in hand in hand in view of the bigger picture. ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nd in view of the bigger picture.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, firstly, hence, if, may, so, thus, in my opinion, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 19.5258426966 61% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.4196629213 81% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 14.8657303371 47% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 33.0505617978 76% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 58.6224719101 107% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 12.9106741573 163% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1991.0 2235.4752809 89% => OK
No of words: 384.0 442.535393258 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.18489583333 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4267276788 4.55969084622 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94004650076 2.79657885939 105% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 215.323595506 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.546875 0.4932671777 111% => OK
syllable_count: 619.2 704.065955056 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.1628397996 60.3974514979 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.611111111 118.986275619 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3333333333 23.4991977007 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.5 5.21951772744 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.83258426966 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0887554430009 0.243740707755 36% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0254056595323 0.0831039109588 31% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0293605631594 0.0758088955206 39% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0502923866294 0.150359130593 33% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0221632890086 0.0667264976115 33% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.1392134831 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.8420337079 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 12.1639044944 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.83 8.38706741573 105% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 100.480337079 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 11.8971910112 67% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.

It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.