"The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition."
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Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
The society always need a leader, the person that shows the guidence of the group and encourage others by giving each one of them a proper job to do. The importance of the leader created the word leadership. the statement says that the leadership should be instilled by a sense of cooperation and I agree on the statement.
The opponents of the statement would contend that the society needs a leader whose ability is the best among the others and during the process of choosing such leader, it is inevitable to compete with each other. It is true that to select whom is at the first place, the member of the group should compare with one another and compete which one is better. The method of competition is effective when it comes to the problem who is the best on the field. During the elementary education of Korea, for example, the students acquire the number that shows personal academic achievement every semester. if the number is low, the student will get motiavation to enhance one's skill and if the number is high, the student will think oneself to maintain it. From these positive feedbacks, the Korean students could enhance their ability higher compare to other countries. The data of international competition results shows that this is true : Korea always rank at the top. Being competitive does actually help to make the individual with the best ability.
However, defining leader as a person who has the best ability won't make the society a better place. No matter the size of the group, from the world to even a team for a purpose of a single simple presentation, everyone work with each other. The appropriate action that the leader should take is applying appropriate amount of work based on ability that each person has and make the group run more effectively. If the leader had only instilled the sense of competition, not cooperation, the leader won't have thinked that others have also something to do for the society. Rather, the leader will try to bring competition into the society, which will only bring anxiety because they won't help each other. The heart of the leader should be fillled with what could be done with the leader's participants, not what kind of thing that the leader is better than others.
Because the leadership is being as a group not above a group, the statement is quite true to me.
Comments
owever, many of us think co
owever, many of us think co operation is the key for success. I completely disagree with the given statement. I believe that to achieve an accomplishment in any field whether it is personal or group task, there should be feeling of doing better than others. Therefore, competition is crucial for any endeavors to obtain great outcomes. Moreover, the culture of competition should be cultivated from early ages so that they can be more innovative to perform work for efficient results by their unique leadership.
To develop efficient leadership, one should go through extensive learning and must have determination to lead the work what he or she is dedicated for. We can take an example of a country South Korea that rises from the rubble mass to a developed nation. This is possible only because of feeling of competition. This competition was started while the government initiated Semaeul On Dong projects throughout the country. In this project villages were given resources to construct simple bridges, roads and so on. And at last the performance was analyzed on the basis of their performance and utilization of resources provided. The best performers were awarded and disregarde the poorer ones. By this strategy government was able to produce more best performers. Hence, competition makes an individual more creative, rational and efficient leader.
For the betterment of society the production of good leaders is important and that can be done by nuturing them from young period.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 209, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
...the leader created the word leadership. the statement says that the leadership shou...
^^^
Line 5, column 599, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...al academic achievement every semester. if the number is low, the student will get...
^^
Line 5, column 665, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...student will get motiavation to enhance ones skill and if the number is high, the st...
^^^^
Line 9, column 295, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...te action that the leader should take is applying appropriate amount of work base...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, first, however, if, so, still, for example, kind of, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 14.8657303371 40% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.3162921348 150% => OK
Pronoun: 22.0 33.0505617978 67% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 58.6224719101 82% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 12.9106741573 139% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1940.0 2235.4752809 87% => OK
No of words: 406.0 442.535393258 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.77832512315 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48881294772 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51756802017 2.79657885939 90% => OK
Unique words: 192.0 215.323595506 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.472906403941 0.4932671777 96% => OK
syllable_count: 603.0 704.065955056 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 6.24550561798 32% => OK
Article: 17.0 4.99550561798 340% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.9215537622 60.3974514979 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 107.777777778 118.986275619 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5555555556 23.4991977007 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.38888888889 5.21951772744 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.126825679079 0.243740707755 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0432841485144 0.0831039109588 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0327099261182 0.0758088955206 43% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0767682020932 0.150359130593 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0308759226263 0.0667264976115 46% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 14.1392134831 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.8420337079 118% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.74 12.1639044944 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.76 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 100.480337079 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.