The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
In today's era, competition is increasing day by day in every field of study. The given prompt asserts that to prepare the modern generation for leardership roles in government, industry and other fields of study it is important to teach them the value of cooperation and not competition. I mostly agree with the given claim for two reasons which I will elucidate below. However, I do concede that the society should also work on instilling the sense of competition into the young generation for their growth.
Firstly, the society should instill the sense of cooperation rather than competition because we learn so many important things by cooperating with people and it enhances our leadership qualities. For example, if a student is not a team player and is always striving to be better than everyone else in his class, he won't learn how it is like to work in a team. He won't be aware of the obstacles that the other team faced and how they overcame that hinderance. Being in team, enables a person to analyze an idea from different point of views .Additionaly, if our ancestors did not cooperate with each other when science was not so developed and when people used to believe on supernatural powers, dieties etc for all the things that happen in the world, they wouldn't have been able to make significant changes and advancements in science. Furthermore, when India was under British rule and Gandhiji opted for non-violence, many people were against him, but he analysed the situation from every point of view and decided to go with non-violence. He cooperated with all the people who were with him in the freedom struggle, took their ideas into account regarding how to fight the Britishers and now he is known as one of the greatest leader of the history.By cooperating with people, he learned what was in their mind and took his decisions accordingly, which must have played a vital role in improving his leadership skills. Thus, to enhance leadership qualities it is important to cooperate with everyone as there is always scope to learn new things.
Futhermore, by inculcating sense of coopeartion in the young generation, they can become more aware of the needs of the society which can ultimately help them in taking great decisions(a necessary trait which all leaders should possess). For example, if a person who works at a software company and wants to reach a higher position in that company, analyses the current problems that his team mates are facing or the problems that the customers of that organisation are facing, he might take into account all those problems and work on them. In future when he gets to work at a higher position, all this things which he learnt by cooperating with his collegues and by focusing on the problems that the society were facing, it can help him to take better decisions. In contrast, even if he gets to be the leader of that firm without cooperating with his team mates, while taking important leadership decisions, he won't be aware of the problems of the people who are working below him.By cooperating with people, an individual might be able to learn many new things which will help him in future while taking pivotal decisions.
In conclusion, to become a good leader it is necessary to know the difficulties that people face which can be learnt by working in team, not alone. A person will be able to analyse the situation from various points of view as everyone has disparate ideas and opinions. However, sometimes to achieve our goals it may be necessary to compete with people who are working along with us to get ahead of them because if everyone is on the same boat it may prevent us from developing unique skills that are necessary to differentiate oneself from the rest of the crowd.
Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion:
...the young generation for their growth. Firstly, the society should instill the ...
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...ze an idea from different point of views .Additionaly, if our ancestors did not co...
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Suggestion: Additionaly
... an idea from different point of views .Additionaly, if our ancestors did not cooperate wit...
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Suggestion: wouldn't
...e things that happen in the world, they wouldnt have been able to make significant chan...
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Suggestion: By
...e of the greatest leader of the history.By cooperating with people, he learned wha...
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...e is always scope to learn new things. Futhermore, by inculcating sense of coop...
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... gets to work at a higher position, all this things which he learnt by cooperating w...
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Suggestion: By
...of the people who are working below him.By cooperating with people, an individual ...
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...future while taking pivotal decisions. In conclusion, to become a good leader i...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, however, if, may, regarding, so, still, thus, while, for example, in conclusion, in contrast
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 19.5258426966 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.4196629213 121% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 14.8657303371 114% => OK
Relative clauses : 28.0 11.3162921348 247% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 65.0 33.0505617978 197% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 106.0 58.6224719101 181% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 12.9106741573 170% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3109.0 2235.4752809 139% => OK
No of words: 647.0 442.535393258 146% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.80525502318 5.05705443957 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.04343084457 4.55969084622 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68242107126 2.79657885939 96% => OK
Unique words: 288.0 215.323595506 134% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.44513137558 0.4932671777 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 978.3 704.065955056 139% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 6.24550561798 176% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.10617977528 193% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.2370786517 89% => OK
Sentence length: 35.0 23.0359550562 152% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 96.9008020199 60.3974514979 160% => OK
Chars per sentence: 172.722222222 118.986275619 145% => OK
Words per sentence: 35.9444444444 23.4991977007 153% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.05555555556 5.21951772744 154% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 7.80617977528 115% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.222354653442 0.243740707755 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0832193102296 0.0831039109588 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0711528322717 0.0758088955206 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.158491134636 0.150359130593 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.112579829957 0.0667264976115 169% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 19.2 14.1392134831 136% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.41 48.8420337079 91% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.8 12.1743820225 130% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.21 12.1639044944 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.25 8.38706741573 98% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 100.480337079 117% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 16.0 11.2143820225 143% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.7820224719 136% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.