The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government industry or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation not competition

Essay topics:

The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.

Common traits among many eminent leaders are compassion, sympathy and ability to commiserate. All theses qualities (mentioned previously), are resultant of their cooperative nature. Therefore, I agree to the prompt that, by instilling cooperation in young people, prominent leaders will emerge in a society. However, I do concede that in some instances inculcating competitve behaviour proves beneficial.
Firstly, what defines a society? Society is an entity comprising of symbiotic social beings, that is, humans are inter-dependent on each other to achieve their passion. The definition of "society" asserts the importance of cooperation, to live harmoniously with each other. For instance, most of the students ultimately aim for a lucrative job, leading teams. When youth get into such jobs, they are expected to work as a team player, however, many students find it difficult to work alongside with peers. Moreover, this problem devolves into a worser form, when employees start leading projects, struggling to ensure cooperation among teamates. This setback in many employees emphasizes the need to incorporate "cooperation" in students in early stages of their schooling, to ensure a smooth transition to worklife.
Second of all, good leaders are marked by their ability to respect peers. If an individual has the ability to cooperate with his/her colleagues, respect and trust is built. Leaders are identified by their accessibility and the talent to co-exist helps them achieve this. For example, the former president of India, A.P.J Abdul Kalam, was cooperative with his seniors and peers, this built a sense of trust in employeers, thereby giving him an opportunity to lead a space mission, within few years of starting his career. Later, this talent of cooperation gave him recognition worldwide, becoming the president of India. Had he not practiced co-existing with his peers, he would not have achieved great height.
In conclusion, the above instances evidences the need to incorporate the sense of cooperation in youth to make them better leaders. In contrast, the sense of competition too helps in upbringing good leaders, but mere competition might make one selfish and presumptous, diluting the traits of a good leader. Thus, competition is not of primary importance.

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Average: 5 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 54, Rule ID: COMPRISING_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'comprising' or 'consisting of'?
Suggestion: comprising; consisting of
...defines a society? Society is an entity comprising of symbiotic social beings, that is, human...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 172, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...each other to achieve their passion. The definition of 'society' assert...
^^
Line 2, column 355, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ents ultimately aim for a lucrative job, leading teams. When youth get into such ...
^^
Line 3, column 320, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: J
...ple, the former president of India, A.P.J Abdul Kalam, was cooperative with his s...
^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, second, so, still, therefore, thus, for example, for instance, in conclusion, in contrast

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.5258426966 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.4196629213 40% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 14.8657303371 40% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 11.3162921348 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 33.0505617978 85% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 58.6224719101 101% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 12.9106741573 108% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1961.0 2235.4752809 88% => OK
No of words: 354.0 442.535393258 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.5395480226 5.05705443957 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.33761313653 4.55969084622 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.2024244004 2.79657885939 115% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 215.323595506 99% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.604519774011 0.4932671777 123% => OK
syllable_count: 603.9 704.065955056 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.38483146067 160% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 23.0359550562 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 47.6059607612 60.3974514979 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.05 118.986275619 82% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.7 23.4991977007 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.65 5.21951772744 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 10.2758426966 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.167650554175 0.243740707755 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.046774766041 0.0831039109588 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0385984022838 0.0758088955206 51% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0939982051996 0.150359130593 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0246920965949 0.0667264976115 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 14.1392134831 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.76 48.8420337079 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.1743820225 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.56 12.1639044944 120% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.79 8.38706741573 117% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 100.480337079 118% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 11.8971910112 63% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.2143820225 78% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.


Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.