Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim AND the reason on which that claim is based.
Can you imagine the former president of USA Obama as a professional football player or Brad pitt as a politician ? I guess that will be really absurd even to imagine ! For most of the successful people, they did just one think i.e. Following there passion diligently. They all have the common ambition to think big and then achieving it through incessant hard work. That's the reason, we as a kid always get the advice:"FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS". The author claim here that although that's a correct advice, more importance should be given to selecting worthy goal, as often people select very self-centric goal which may not be beneficial to the society. I do not formly agree with this claim of the author believe, however he was raised a valid reason that can be true in some cases.
To begin with, the very idea of picking a worthy goal is little dubious. The definition of a worthy goal is highly subjective, it can vary from place to place, can be different for different community or else can be different for person to person. Their is no "Fits everyone" definition of worth goal. For example, a goal of becoming a engineer can be a very big thing for a boy in a small African city, but the same thing may not be considered very big in urbane society of New York city. In the same way, the goal which is very worth at a given time period, may not be worthy at some other time period. For example the goal of reaching mars, must have seemed absurd to a person from 16th century, but this goal has now become very much possible. This is the reason, I believe that, instead of succumbing to the pressure of society, peer or parents by selecting a "Worthy Goal", it's is better to follow your dream. It is okay, to be little selfish, even Steve Job once said, "Be selfish, Be successful".
Also, choosing a goal is a big thing, as a person chasing that dream, we will be investing a not of time, energy and resources. It's better to choose something which we enjoy. For example, will a math prodigy enjoy we force him to sports or cultural activities ? Even he is get success eventually, he will be not happy. Happiness in that we do plays a major role in deciding the probability of success. It's is better to choose a dream, which we truly enjoy as we will be spending a large proportion of our time chasing it.
However, The author is right in saying that, the goal can be very selfish sometime which is wrong. We should always keep in mind that our goal should not effect the human kind in wrong away. I believe, if you are unable to make a good impact on the society, atleast do not make a wrong or hazardous impact.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 367, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: That's
...hieving it through incessant hard work. Thats the reason, we as a kid always get the ...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 487, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: that's
...s;. The author claim here that although thats a correct advice, more importance shoul...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 250, Rule ID: THEIR_IS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'there'?
Suggestion: There
... can be different for person to person. Their is no 'Fits everyone' definit...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 346, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...h goal. For example, a goal of becoming a engineer can be a very big thing for a ...
^
Line 3, column 836, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...instead of succumbing to the pressure of society, peer or parents by selecting a ...
^^
Line 3, column 876, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... society, peer or parents by selecting a 'Worthy Goal', its is better ...
^
Line 7, column 156, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...s keep in mind that our goal should not effect the human kind in wrong away. I believe...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, really, so, then, for example, i guess, in some cases, to begin with, in the same way
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.5258426966 154% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.4196629213 153% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 14.8657303371 61% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 33.0505617978 133% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 58.6224719101 80% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2179.0 2235.4752809 97% => OK
No of words: 482.0 442.535393258 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.52074688797 5.05705443957 89% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68556276237 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64721391732 2.79657885939 95% => OK
Unique words: 246.0 215.323595506 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.510373443983 0.4932671777 103% => OK
syllable_count: 687.6 704.065955056 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59117977528 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 6.24550561798 272% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.1029883228 60.3974514979 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.7391304348 118.986275619 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9565217391 23.4991977007 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.95652173913 5.21951772744 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 7.80617977528 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.253034030584 0.243740707755 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0705847924371 0.0831039109588 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0490630664117 0.0758088955206 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.152787079742 0.150359130593 102% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0536153760783 0.0667264976115 80% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.3 14.1392134831 73% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 48.8420337079 139% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.1743820225 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.94 12.1639044944 73% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 100.480337079 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.