The following appeared in a letter from the faculty committee to the president of Seatown University:
A study conducted at nearby Oceania University showed that faculty retention is higher when professors are offered free tuition at the university for their own college-aged children. Therefore, Seatown should institute a free-tuition policy for its professors for the purpose of enhancing morale among the faculty and luring new professors.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author claims that the Seatown university should offer free tuition for the children of college's professor. This claim is based on the the research done by Oceania University. The Oceania university showed some promising result in terms on professor retention and moral. However, this claim is based on 3 assumptions, which if not substantiated, dramatically decreases the persuasiveness of the argument.
To begin, the author must provide evidence about the similarities between Oceania University and Seatown University. It is highly probable that, the policy which proved highly successful in Oceania may not be that successful in Seatown University. For example, It is possible that Oceania is ranked much better in terms of education quality, academics, sports and infrastructure than Seatown university, therefor a first choice for every aspiring student. Maybe its a "Dream college" for many student. But in case of seatown, maybe it is not comparable with Oceania, thus even with a free tuition, children for college's professor may not prefer Seatown University for admission. In this case, the scheme of free tuition will not be able to increase moral of faculty and lure new professor. Also these factor, play a indirectly role in moral of the employee, a better infrastructure is directly related to higher job satisfaction. So, more evidence on these factors are highly necessary to strengthen the claim.
Also, no evidence about the fee disparity between two college is mentioned. Maybe, the Oceania university tuition fee is too high and thus a fee waiver is a very attractive deal, but if the Seatown already has a low tuition fee, than it will not be a very tempting deal and the scheme will fail to achieve its purpose. Another scenario is also possible, maybe in Seatown university, the tuition fee is a very small part of the overall fee structure. Maybe other fee such as admission fee, caution deposit is very high and unaffordable for most of the people. In that case also, a small tuition fee waiver will not a able to fulfill the promise of increasing morale.
Lastly, it is possible that Oceania university has a lot of professor with college aged student, but the seatown university have a very few of them. If this is assumed true then the scheme of fee waiver will effect a small population of professor, and will not be able to have a big overall impact. Evidence regarding the percentage of professor that will be getting benefited if this scheme is implemented will highly increase the impact of the arguemnt.
As of now, the argument is clearly flawed, and required substantial data to strengthen it. The author must provide the evidences to proof that both the colleges are similar in terms of all the related factors and the proportion of student getting benefited must be simillar.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 468 350
No. of Characters: 2298 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.651 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.91 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.727 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 176 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 141 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.273 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.443 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.636 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.101 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 136, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...leges professor. This claim is based on the the research done by Oceania University. Th...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 136, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...leges professor. This claim is based on the the research done by Oceania University. Th...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 329, Rule ID: IF_IS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'is'?
Suggestion: is
... claim is based on 3 assumptions, which if not substantiated, dramatically decreas...
^^
Line 3, column 464, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
...hoice for every aspiring student. Maybe its a 'Dream college' for many st...
^^^
Line 3, column 468, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...e for every aspiring student. Maybe its a 'Dream college' for many stud...
^
Line 3, column 500, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun student seems to be countable; consider using: 'many students'.
Suggestion: many students
...ybe its a 'Dream college' for many student. But in case of seatown, maybe it is no...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 803, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...ral of faculty and lure new professor. Also these factor, play a indirectly role in...
^^^^
Line 3, column 827, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...new professor. Also these factor, play a indirectly role in moral of the employe...
^
Line 3, column 827, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('indirectly') instead an adjective, or a noun ('role') instead of another adjective.
...new professor. Also these factor, play a indirectly role in moral of the employee, a better infr...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 616, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...so, a small tuition fee waiver will not a able to fulfill the promise of increasi...
^
Line 7, column 53, Rule ID: A_LOT_OF_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun professor seems to be countable; consider using: 'a lot of professors'.
Suggestion: a lot of professors
...is possible that Oceania university has a lot of professor with college aged student, but the seat...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 210, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...true then the scheme of fee waiver will effect a small population of professor, and wi...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, lastly, may, regarding, so, then, thus, for example, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 51.0 55.5748502994 92% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2375.0 2260.96107784 105% => OK
No of words: 468.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07478632479 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65116196802 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8533338697 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.442307692308 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 765.9 705.55239521 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.0976213846 57.8364921388 78% => OK
Chars per sentence: 107.954545455 119.503703932 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2727272727 23.324526521 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.13636363636 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.21709580523 0.218282227539 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0736360206227 0.0743258471296 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0860349724509 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125590606686 0.128457276422 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0862456656328 0.0628817314937 137% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.5979740519 96% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 98.500998004 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.